They say Behind every successful man is a great woman. I have believed it but not experienced it. While it has always been my belief that a good woman can inspire her man my experience was just the opposite. Maybe I’ve been around the wrong sort of women my whole life but nearly every time I heard a woman say “be a man” it always sounded mean and spiteful. It came out in a way that almost sounded like “you aren’t a man, you don’t have it in you to be a man and you will never be a man.” It’s like making a pronouncement of sorts that says this is what you are lacking and them makes sure to steal your energy to even consider being a man. “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” Proverbs 21:19 (NIV)
We don’t realize what power is in words. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) Life and death are in words. Surely you know someone that can drain the life out of you with their words. Listening to them steals spirit and life out of you in such a real way that you can actually feel the life leaving you as they speak. Others are gifted with encouraging words. They make you feel anything is possible for you. They leave you with more life and energy than you had before.
My marriage was so bad, such a drain on my life and on the life of my kids that I have refused for ten years to date, to consider another relationship with a woman. The life had been sucked out of me. I had nothing left. Then God sent Sylvia. Sylvia spoke life into me. She spoke truth into me. She lit my candle of faith off of hers as mine had nearly gone out. God loves me so much that He blessed me with her friendship. A bad day with her is better than my best day before her.
She makes me want to “Be The Man.” She makes me feel like I can do anything. She constantly reminds me how much God loves me, provides for me and wants for me. She reminds me God does not want me to sit idle and waste my gifts. She reminds me of my calling to live for God. You should be there to hear how she does it. She speaks ever so gently and it is like honey and oil being poured over me. When she speaks these words of life to me she is not saying “you aren’t living up. You will never measure up.” She is saying “This is what you are. You are gifted to do anything and everything He has called you to do and I KNOW you can do it because you love the Lord and your trust is in Him.” When she says “Be the man,” I know that I can and that I will. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)
Try as I might I cannot put into words how gentle and pleasant this woman speaks to me or what her words do to me. She bathes me in the Word, in faith and in encouragement. God uses her voice and words like a healing salve to my scarred soul. Truly she is the most beautiful woman I have ever known and except for Christ, her friendship is the greatest gift God has given me.
Father God, thank you for Sylvia. Cause me to be the man you intend me to be. Let my words give life and encouragement. Help me to not use my tongue to wound and discourage. Help me become a true man like your son and my brother Jesus.
BTW- Sylvia is not yet my wife but if the Lord continues to favor me who knows?
He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12 (NIV)
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