The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/01/08
Good interesting read - thanks for sharing.
Very descriptive, great visuals and small details that draw thee reader into the setting. Enjoy this...
11/02/08
The descriptions are absolutely incredible---almost tactile. I found the beginning incredibly strong. Somehow didn't feel as much "into it" as you got into the major dialogue - maybe because there was less description. It also could just be me (often is!).

Regardless, I was blessed by this, and enjoyed it very much.
I got a little confused as to who Mack was, (stepfather, brother, friend, uncle?).
Other than that, the descriptions were magnificent and the story well written.
11/05/08
I was getting caught up in the story when I was left with unanswered questions. Some stories are impossible to tell with a 750 word cap. But still . . . it drew this reader into wanting more. Well done.
Your descriptive pictures are wonderful in your story.