The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/30/08
This is a sweet story told from a child's perspective. Right on topic.
11/01/08
Why do I get the feeling that it's a real story? It sounds too creative to be true! Great work - I thought you did a wonderful job. Tiny critique: I think she would write "really bad" rather than "urgently". Excellent writing. :)
11/01/08
I really enjoyed this, glad it had a good ending, I was concerned for a while. Good voice for the MC.
11/01/08
That was a wonderful picture of the church being church! I liked Pastor Rick and Sally very much.
11/01/08
I liked this story and the format you used.

Red ink: Work on the MC's voice. To me, she sounded older than 11. Maybe add a bit of slang or some dramatic preteen emotion to make it sound more realistic.
I love journaling, always have. This is a beautiful look into the thoughts and conversation an 11year old girl has with Jesus.
What a sweet story. I loved seeing her change in attitude as her father did better. Wonderful writing. Great job.
11/04/08
The Christmas season is a renewing of faith and hope, and you have done a good job in showing this. Through the eyes of a child you bring her full circle in finding hope once again even in the mids of life's trials. Showing to the reader that even in the midst of life's troubles there can be hope.

Well done.
Really enjoyed this story. So glad it had a happy ending.
Love,
Norms
11/05/08
Through the words of a child their heart is revealed. Good job Joanne. What is with a dad and lights? I don't know either but I love them. Wonderful story. Well done.
11/05/08
Oops! Sorry Chrissy. I followed Joanne's brick for your story and I congratulated her in my above post instead of you. But everything in that comment was meant for the writer - you.

Well done.
11/05/08
I enjoyed this approach (you could have written this one for this week too LOL). I liked the gradual change in her attitude.