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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Countdown to Christmas/Advent (10/23/08)

TITLE: Danaís December Letters to Jesus


Saturday 6th

Dear Jesus, this is going to be the most horrible Christmas ever. Daddy fell off the roof trying to hang the Christmas lights. Heíll probably be home from the hospital on Monday. The bones in his legs and pelvis need to be screwed back together. David thinks itís his fault because he couldnít hold the ladder. Mom said no one expected a nine-year-old to catch his daddy falling from that height. Pastor Rick went to the hospital and stayed awhile after we came home.

Sunday 7th

I didnít want to go to church today but Pastor Rick took me and David so Mom could visit Daddy by herself. Everyone was very nice but I got tired of all the hugging. I think David did too, but heís not blaming himself now. The ladies organized meal rosters for the next few weeks. I told them I can prepare meals on the weekends. After all, I am eleven and Mom did teach me how to cook a few things.

David and I had lunch with Pastor Rick and his wife, Sally. Sally used to be an occuÖpay..tional therapy nurse and offered to help Mom when Daddy returns home. Pastor Rick will help organize a ramp to fit over the entry steps and a special bed for the front room.

Thursday 11th

Daddy had a blood clot and didnít come home until today. We thought he was going to die. The ramp was put in yesterday and the hospital bed came today. David and I talked with Daddy, while Sally and Mom prepared our evening meal.

Pastor Rick and Sally went home after they helped Daddy get comfortable for the night. Thank you, Jesus for not letting Daddy die.

Saturday 13th

Pastor Rick came today with some of the men from church. They all put the Christmas lights on the roof and helped David and me string more lights in the garden. The ladies came later with their children and lots of food for everyone.

When it got dark, the men carried Daddy outside and gave him a small box with an electrical control knob. You see Jesus, its Daddyís job every year to turn on the Christmas lights and Iím so happy he could still do it.

Wednesday 17th

This week Iíve been busy helping Mom. Iím in charge of upstairs cleaning so she can be downstairs with Daddy. Momís very tired. Pastor Rick set up my bed for her next to Daddyís. Iím sleeping in Daddy and Momís bedroom. Itís kind of cool but I still feel sad for Daddy. Jesus, Daddy must be still in pain; he groans when he moves.

David was naughty yesterday and wouldnít put his dirty clothes out for me so I could take them downstairs to Mom. He was nicer after he had a Ďman-to-maní talk with Daddy.

Sunday 21st

Daddy insisted Mom should go to church this morning. We left Daddyís cell phone near his pillow and strict instructions for him to call us if there was a problem. He was fine but he needed the bathroom urgently when we got home.

It was just our family at home this afternoon. David asked if we could have a Christmas tree and decorate the front room. Mom said there was a white fiber-optic tree in the attic that had belonged to Gram before she died.

David and I found the tree right near a box of pretty hand painted baubles and green bows with red beads. They look just like holly sprigs.

When we went back downstairs, Mom had Christmas carols playing. Dad had managed to move to his favorite chair. It was good to see him out of bed and Mom sitting in the chair beside him. Dear Jesus, I think Iím starting to look forward to Christmas again.

Wednesday 24th

Itís Christmas Eve and Daddyís moving around a little easier and Mom is sleeping better. We had a family Christmas party tonight before Pastor Rick and Sally came to visit. They are really nice pastors and everyone at church is like family.

Pastor Rick helped Daddy outside so we could watch ours and the neighbors Christmas lights together. Carolers came into the street while we were huddled together trying to stay warm. Tiny snowflakes fell as Pastor Rick helped Daddy back inside.

Dear Jesus, this is going to be the most wonderful Christmas ever.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Love, Dana.

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This article has been read 725 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 10/30/08
This is a sweet story told from a child's perspective. Right on topic.
Leah Nichols 11/01/08
Why do I get the feeling that it's a real story? It sounds too creative to be true! Great work - I thought you did a wonderful job. Tiny critique: I think she would write "really bad" rather than "urgently". Excellent writing. :)
Carole Robishaw 11/01/08
I really enjoyed this, glad it had a good ending, I was concerned for a while. Good voice for the MC.
Melanie Kerr 11/01/08
That was a wonderful picture of the church being church! I liked Pastor Rick and Sally very much.
Seema Bagai 11/01/08
I liked this story and the format you used.

Red ink: Work on the MC's voice. To me, she sounded older than 11. Maybe add a bit of slang or some dramatic preteen emotion to make it sound more realistic.
Karlene Jacobsen11/02/08
I love journaling, always have. This is a beautiful look into the thoughts and conversation an 11year old girl has with Jesus.
Celeste Ammirata11/03/08
What a sweet story. I loved seeing her change in attitude as her father did better. Wonderful writing. Great job.
Jesus Puppy 11/04/08
The Christmas season is a renewing of faith and hope, and you have done a good job in showing this. Through the eyes of a child you bring her full circle in finding hope once again even in the mids of life's trials. Showing to the reader that even in the midst of life's troubles there can be hope.

Well done.
Norma-Anne Hough11/05/08
Really enjoyed this story. So glad it had a happy ending.
George Parler 11/05/08
Through the words of a child their heart is revealed. Good job Joanne. What is with a dad and lights? I don't know either but I love them. Wonderful story. Well done.
George Parler 11/05/08
Oops! Sorry Chrissy. I followed Joanne's brick for your story and I congratulated her in my above post instead of you. But everything in that comment was meant for the writer - you.

Well done.
Joanne Sher 11/05/08
I enjoyed this approach (you could have written this one for this week too LOL). I liked the gradual change in her attitude.