The Official Writing Challenge
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10/23/08
Wowzer, my heart is a-flutter! Love this romantic piece!!!!
10/23/08
Very, very romantic:)
10/27/08
awwwwwwww. So romantic and sweet and wonderful. I loved every single word of it. Caught a few mechanics "booboos," that I'm sure you've already caught yourself (I HATE that!), but it didn't distract at ALL. Lovely.
I had a little difficulty figuring out the setting for this story, and how the first two lines fit in. Beyond that, I thoroughly enjoyed the plot and, of course, the blossoming romance. You have some wonderfully descriptive lines and phrases.
10/27/08
I liked how the topic was just sort of a sidebar to the real story--the budding romance.

Okay, you asked for lots of red ink, so here goes. The dialogue confused me at times--who was speaking when. And some of it seemed forced, not like a real person would speak.

I like the open ending--then I get to make up the happily-ever-after, or not, rest of the story. :)
I love romances, so I really enjoyed this. Delightful.

You asked for red ink, so here goes. I, too, don't quite get where the first line fit in. I loved the line and at first that Cor must be from money. Later a comment was made that made me think she was the servant to her friend. (Her friend said I'll serve you today, or something like that). So, I never really figured out their relationship or why they were living together.

But again, well written!
Oh how sweet, a romance is cooking...
I enjoyed this very much. Thank you.
I especially liked the line, "the question had her heart tangled in it" and the description of Derek in the snow in this sweet romance.
I enjoyed this Christmas Romance. But, I agree that the first line isn't tied into the rest of the story. And if their such great friends, why didn't she speak up about her ankle? But, like I said this is an enjoyable read.
Great visual descriptions. I was however, confused as to whether or not one friend was falling for the same guy her best friend liked. Though it would be understandable, he definitely sounds like a keeper!
10/28/08
Ahhh, a blossoming romance. You had some nice descriptive elements for Cor's romantic feelings. A couple of minor typos (mine had even more). Nice story!
I liked the setting of this piece, and I enjoyed the romantic story intertwined with the topic of Christmas baking.

The opening line is the only thing that I think needed to be changed in this piece. It was confusing to me as well, and had you just left it out or else changed it up, then I think the rest of the story was fine. I also did have one spot where I wasn't sure who was speaking, but overall I think the dialogue flowed smoothly.

Congrats on making the top 40 and top 15 lists even though you didn't think you deserved to. Obviously you did! :)