The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Oh, this is sad. I noticed a few typos, but this is very well written. If only people would take the time to enjoy their blessings while they still have them. Poor Guy, I bet the house IS quiet.
10/19/08
Unexpected convicting ending. You engage your readers with some humorous images (love the half naked Barbie). Several typos, as I'm sure you already know. Mine had some too.
10/20/08
Nooooo! So sad! Good descriptions of family life, but I still can't get over the shocking ending. Well written.
10/23/08
I could really dig the reflective writing style - helped me slide right into the narrator's mind. And what a perfect ending!
I didn't care so much for your Jingle Bells opening. It works on a second read but it left me confused the first time round.
Bless you.