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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Christmas Tree (10/09/08)

TITLE: A Stroke of Brilliance?
By Angela M. Baker-Bridge
10/15/08


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Walking through the family room, I heard that dreaded sound. Ten days after New Years, our live Christmas tree was anything but. The intermittent rhythm of falling dead pine needles had replaced holiday music.

What I’d loved weeks ago, I now hated. Upon discovering that perfect eight-foot living spruce, instantly I envisioned my ornaments and my children’s handmade trinkets on its’ branches. I knew that Christmas tree would be our most memorable ever, just not why.

After my sons left for school, I telephoned my husband at work.

“Ben, you got a minute?”

“What’s up?”

“I walked through the family room before and that stupid tree dumped another inch of needles everywhere. You said you’d take it down, but when?”

“I told you, when I have time. Besides, don’t be giving me grief about this when you’re the one who insisted on another live tree. If you weren’t so stubborn, and had bought an artificial tree, we wouldn’t be having this discussion, again.”

“What about tonight?”

“Probably not ... look, I’m swamped … gotta go.”

Click. Ben hung-up before I could say another word.

“Fine Benjamin, I don’t need you to take down the tree. But when you get home, you’ll be as dead as that tree is!” I slammed the phone, fighting back tears.

After brewing some tea and settling into the recliner, I realized the house was chilly. I went into the garage for firewood when it occurred to me.

Why waste firewood when there’s a dead tree inside I can burn? I’ll cut and burn the Christmas tree before Ben gets home. Where’s that handsaw … here it is. What a stroke of brilliance.

I rearranged the furniture and spread out sheets. Carefully, I tipped the tree until it landed on its side. I received a thunderous applause from scattering pine needles. Placing one foot on the tree, I became Pauline Bunyan. Unfortunately, the saw got stuck an inch into the bark. Relentlessly, I pulled and kicked until it loosened.

What am I doing? I just bought Ben a chainsaw for Christmas! That baby can do this in minutes.

The chainsaw, still in its box, sat nearby. Grinning, I removed parts, threw the manual on the couch, attached the chain, plugged in the electrical cord, and flipped the on-switch. Grasping the handle tightly, that power-tool jerked me like a rollercoaster ride. Even the walls shook as I revved the motor.

When the chainsaw struck the spruce’s trunk, pine needles flew everywhere. They looked like arrows flying in an old Western movie. The first log separated from the trunk. An adrenaline rush blinded me to the mess, severing all warning signals of impending disaster. I was woman and the neighborhood heard me roar.

After cutting a second log, I was anxious to build a fire. I scooped handfuls of needles off the floor for kindling. As my match landed in the fireplace, the explosion threw me back several feet. Undeterred, I attacked a thinner branch. Immediately I had to yank the chainsaw back before it cut into the carpet.

I stopped to wipe sweat from my brow and to open the backdoor. The blazing fire had overheated the house. Suddenly, a gust of wind circulated the fallen pine needles. Even this catastrophe didn’t stop me. My next opponent was tree sap. My hands, clothes, and chainsaw became sticky magnets covered with pine needles. The more obstacles I encountered, the more determined I became, until…

“N-O-O-O-O! Lord, please don’t let this stupid thing be broken. Ben will kill me. Where are those directions?”

Searching through the disastrous mess, I realized it was too late to consult the manual. I’d done everything wrong, seized the motor, destroyed the house, and soon the boys would be home.

Filthy, scratched, bleeding, and aching all over, I hurriedly filled trash bags with pine needles and branches. I hauled everything outside, swept, vacuumed, scrubbed, sobbed, and showered.

That evening when Ben arrived, the pine fragrance emanated even stronger than when the Christmas tree was alive. He was impressed I had removed the tree alone, until he heard how and examined his chainsaw.

Sadly, that incident is reflective of how I tend to live my life. I get excited about brilliant ideas, don’t consult God’s manual first, eagerly venture forth, become blind to warning signs of impending disaster, then have a mess to clean-up.

Change isn’t easy, but I’m trying to learn. I still buy live Christmas trees, but I won’t ever burn one again.


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This article has been read 647 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Leah Nichols 10/17/08
LOL Wow....thanks for the warning....I think I'll skip that idea! :) Nice work.
Ellen Dodson10/19/08
Great title for this piece. You've some magical spurts of personification here and there that add to the humor, like the "applauding pine needles." It bothered me that the handsaw seemingly just appeared as I was still picturing you or the MC in the recliner. That distracted me a little. The overuse of "stupid" kind of distracted me too. But, you may have been trying to thread that in as a joke on yourself/MC and as a means of reinforcing the theme and title. The compulsive power trip with the chainsaw was very convincingly rendered. I could totally feel that adrenaline rush. I did, however, wonder why the MC could cut down the tree and yet not dispose of it. If she was powerful enough to do one, why not the other? You may want to add something in about having tried and been unable to drag it out yourself. Unique and engaging piece. : )
Celeste Ammirata10/19/08
Great piece! I enjoyed the vivid descriptions, especially of her manic mission. You had me smiling. Very Nice.
Yvonne Blake 10/20/08
Ha,ha, ha...I cringed when you mentioned the chain saw! Then when you lit the fire, I held my breath, knowing that it would burst out in flames and even worried about all the needles on the floor! Don't do that to me!
Norma-Anne Hough 10/20/08
This story gave me a good laugh. Your descriptions were very vivid and I could picture every move.
Blessings,
Norms
Laury Hubrich 10/22/08
Very funny. Very creative. Is there a hint of reality to this? Thanks for the laugh!
Dee Yoder 10/22/08
Hilarious! I hope this wasn't written from first-hand experience (would you tell if it were?!). I could easily imagine every funny scene!
Dee Yoder 10/22/08
Wait a minute...I just went back and read your hint...don't TELL me you did this?! Oh, I wish I could've been there-LOL!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge 10/22/08
Yes, I really did this and it was VERY hard to share under 750 words! While writing it, I couldn't believe all the details I was recalling. It wasn't until the end however, that God spoke to me about the lesson He's been trying to get me to learn through this event. I finished writing it very convicted.

To explain why I could handle a chainsaw but couldn't drag the tree out...originally I mentioned it during the phone call but edited for word count. The tree was not only 8' tall, but over 6' wide. With the netting on we barely got it IN the door, so we knew it would be worse trying to push it OUT...which is why my husband kept finding excuses to put off removing it before he returned to work.
Marita Thelander 10/22/08
I had to read this out loud to my husband. As soon as I got to the chainsaw I looked up in time to see his expression change from "Why are you reading me this story" to a grin saying "Oh no, not the chain saw?"
Joanne Sher 10/22/08
Yes, Angel, I was LOL - what an experience! Thanks for sharing it. Great detail!!
Karlene Jacobsen 10/22/08
I can relate to the husband putting off... In frustration and "let him have it" attitude, I can see myself doing something similar, although not as extreme, LOL.
I also love how God speaks to us through our impetuous behavior.
Great job re-telling the story.
Dixie Phillips 10/22/08
Hysterically funny! Honestly, this is a riot. All you need is duct tape. You know you're a red neck when..... What a hoot!
Verna Cole Mitchell 10/23/08
I love this. I can just picture it all exactly as you described it. Great writing, with the message coming through clearly.
Jan Ackerson 11/27/10
Angela, I'm going to feature this on the front page showcase for the week of Dec. 13. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page--and congratulations!
Rita Garcia12/16/10
I can so relate to this story! I love the analogy!! Wonderful job cutting it down to 750 words--must've been the chain saw!


   
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