The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/10/08
Nice. I didnít realize you were talking about your mother . . . Keep writing and God bless. Olivia
10/11/08
Very nice!
10/13/08
Cute story - I would have liked to read more about Ruth.

Your paragraphs are actually long sentences. Reading that length repeatedly can slow a reader down. Try breaking up some of the sentences to write shorter, quick verses. See how it works. It keeps the eyes moving.

Nice job!