The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/10/08
Nice flow. I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing and God bless. Olivia
10/11/08
Nice little character study--it left me wanting to know more of Michelle's story.

Quick note: "throne" is a fancy chair--I think you wanted "thrown".

Your writing is quite pleasant to read.
10/13/08
I like the faith of Michelle to endure. Sharing her personal tragedies helps the reader empathize.

Some of the sentences seemed to run on a bit. I would encourage you to brush up on comma usage. A well place comma can help the reader "hear" the sentences as you intended.

You expressed your faith very well.