The Official Writing Challenge
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10/09/08
Lovely. With a tear in my own eye I read the last line...
10/09/08
Oh, my - just when I thought it couldn't get any sweeter, it did! Great story & character development, and that ending...sweet.
:) Cat
10/10/08
"Oh Santísimo"—I can hardly wait until Christmas—it's one of the many wonderful songs we have in Spanish, and your story is just as good.
10/11/08
Great character development in a very well-written and atmosppheric story.
10/11/08
Wow, this is an incredible story. Your descriptions are excellent. Love this one:
"Tears ran down the crevices that time had etched on her face, but her eyes shone." Wowzer. ;)
10/13/08
This is absolutely beautiful--such a kind girl, such a touching story. Such talent!
10/13/08
Oh wow, this brought tears to my eyes. Great writing!
10/14/08
Feliz Navidad indeed! Very touching. “So? Our being here is what's important to them, not how good we sing.” How often do we forget that fact!

A personal comment: Rather than mentioning Siberia twice in the first paragraph, perhaps part of the first sentence could be moved to the last. Just a thought. :)

10/15/08
Very touching writing. The descriptions are wonderful, placing your reader in the scene. I especially like the 7th paragraph. Beautiful last paragraph, too.
10/15/08
Excellent writing! Perfect job.
10/15/08
The end was a bit blurry to me, as I read through tears. Oh my, what an artist you are, to paint such vivid pictures with words like that. I guess that's why you're in masters.
10/15/08
Amazing...I love your Spanish phrases. I had to smile at the picture of your smiling and singing in English. :) I saw this "grandmother" woman yesterday (on the Hopi reservation) and you've described her perfectly! You've written this so beautifully!
10/16/08
Your descriptions and characterization are wonderful, simply wonderful. Beautifully crafted - I loved it.
10/16/08
Ah, Peej...no wonder it got EC! This is so touching and beautiful! I can see the Ecuadorian granny through your words. Thank you for sharing this memory.
10/16/08
Oh, SO beautiful and atmospheric. I love the rich descriptions and the real emotion in this piece.
Congrats, peejers - you deserve it!
10/16/08
Congratulations, Peej! This is awesome and it blows me away knowing that it is most probably a true story from your childhood. Ever wonder what happened to that old lady? Wonderful writing!
10/16/08
Thanks for all these wonderful comments!
This story is based on a real event in my life, BUT it has been fictionalized. ~Peejers/Patty
10/16/08
Congrats on 2nd place!!!! Moving, awesome, anointed writing! ;)
10/16/08
Super congrats on 2nd place, Peejie! :) ...and welcome back to the challenge.
10/16/08
I really liked how you wove the growing relationship between the old lady and the MC throughout the piece. The ending was very touching. And "Our being here is what's important to them, not how good we sing." also sums up our worshop attitude to God. He's interested in our hearts, not whether we're the best singers.
10/20/08
This was such a moving story--I remember going to nursing homes at Christmas time and felt much like your MC--not wanting to be there. This beautifully written, creatively told story certainly earned its win.
10/24/08
Patty, you write so very well. Congrats on the win, this is really good!