The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/09/08
A few comma splices and (very) minor grammar issues in the first half, but then I think you caught your stride. The 2nd half is much stronger. I especially like the description of the light and carols spreading out from the church. I love the ending, too. Nice!!
10/11/08
What a fascinating concept, and a great way of blending the two Christmasses. Well done!
This is one of my favorites, not only for the creative thought, but also for the wonderful poetic prose.
10/14/08
Totally enjoyed the perspective - good to think that one with such a generous heart would be primarily focused on One who gave His all to us.
Nicely done. Even Santa must wait for "The Gift". I loved it.
A slight wind swept into the park, twirling the snow into crystal cyclones to creak the snow laden boughs of oak, pecan and fir. Nature's voice began a lullaby wistful in her tenor and soothing in her tone.

That paragraph, along with so many others, really gripped me with the eloquent language that they were written in. Your gift of describing surroundings is impeccable.

The story itself is also brilliant. Merging the Christmas of Christ with that of Santa Claus. Awesome job with this!