The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
10/09/08
I've been in the hospital at Christmas before, and it was the music that brought the holiday into that place. You've captured that emotion well.
10/09/08
Very well told. A poignant story. God bless you.
10/09/08
Beautiful story! I was on a horse beside them.
10/10/08
I love that carol--it's not heard often, and it's so pretty! Thanks for combining it with a unique cowboy tale--nice combination in a week when there are a lot of stories that are quite similar to each other.
10/10/08
I really enjoyed this. Emotional without being too sappy. Well done.
10/14/08
Great entry all around - right on topic, good descriptions, strong MCs and plot. Excellent. :)
10/14/08
I don't remember ever hearing that carol before. I'll have to look it up.

Wonderful story. God bless!
10/15/08
Excellent writing! I'd be surprised if you didn't place. Very nice job drawing the reader in and giving us just what we need to know. A very strong entry - great job!
10/15/08
I've never been on a western ranch, but your descriptions made me feel like I was there. Also, the hospital scene is very realistic. Well done!
10/15/08
I enjoyed the contrast of a rustic ranch and a modern medical facility, and the ability of God to be present in both. :)
10/15/08
Whistle in the valley (of the shadow of....) whistle in the dark - only it isn't dark with the Lord! Enjoyed this - well done!
10/15/08
I enjoyed your story very much. You made the ranch come alive with your vivid description, and the emotions in the hospital were excellently done as well.
10/15/08
Lovely story. The words of that carol are beautiful. First time I have read them.
Your descriptions are vivid, I felt I was with you in all your circumstances. Well done.
Norms
10/15/08
Good detail and great descriptions. Wonderful!
10/15/08
The transition from the ranch to the hospital was seamless, and your writing superb. I sense a top three placer in advanced here.
10/15/08
Excellent writing! I was right there... vivid descriptions and strong emotions kept me engaged throughout.
10/15/08
Excellent work! Your "western" descriptions in this heart-warming story, are so authentic.
10/15/08
Beautifully written and very engaging. The reader immediately feels drawn into the story with your vivid descriptions and well-drawn narration. Great use of the Christmas carol. Very compelling story. I sense a winner here!
10/15/08
Well written, great descriptions. The transitions between the different times was very well done. I could feel the waking up in hospital and then the return to the present. Great writing.
10/28/08
Author's Note: Placed 8th in Advanced and 27th in top 40.
11/21/08
Very poignant. I particularly enjoyed your vivid descriptions of ranch life.