The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/09/08
I've been in the hospital at Christmas before, and it was the music that brought the holiday into that place. You've captured that emotion well.
Very well told. A poignant story. God bless you.
10/09/08
Beautiful story! I was on a horse beside them.
10/10/08
I love that carol--it's not heard often, and it's so pretty! Thanks for combining it with a unique cowboy tale--nice combination in a week when there are a lot of stories that are quite similar to each other.
10/10/08
I really enjoyed this. Emotional without being too sappy. Well done.
Great entry all around - right on topic, good descriptions, strong MCs and plot. Excellent. :)
I don't remember ever hearing that carol before. I'll have to look it up.

Wonderful story. God bless!
10/15/08
Excellent writing! I'd be surprised if you didn't place. Very nice job drawing the reader in and giving us just what we need to know. A very strong entry - great job!
10/15/08
I've never been on a western ranch, but your descriptions made me feel like I was there. Also, the hospital scene is very realistic. Well done!
I enjoyed the contrast of a rustic ranch and a modern medical facility, and the ability of God to be present in both. :)
10/15/08
Whistle in the valley (of the shadow of....) whistle in the dark - only it isn't dark with the Lord! Enjoyed this - well done!
I enjoyed your story very much. You made the ranch come alive with your vivid description, and the emotions in the hospital were excellently done as well.
Lovely story. The words of that carol are beautiful. First time I have read them.
Your descriptions are vivid, I felt I was with you in all your circumstances. Well done.
Norms
Good detail and great descriptions. Wonderful!
The transition from the ranch to the hospital was seamless, and your writing superb. I sense a top three placer in advanced here.
Excellent writing! I was right there... vivid descriptions and strong emotions kept me engaged throughout.
10/15/08
Excellent work! Your "western" descriptions in this heart-warming story, are so authentic.
10/15/08
Beautifully written and very engaging. The reader immediately feels drawn into the story with your vivid descriptions and well-drawn narration. Great use of the Christmas carol. Very compelling story. I sense a winner here!
Well written, great descriptions. The transitions between the different times was very well done. I could feel the waking up in hospital and then the return to the present. Great writing.
Author's Note: Placed 8th in Advanced and 27th in top 40.
Very poignant. I particularly enjoyed your vivid descriptions of ranch life.