The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/18/08
Boy, this sounds like a game I HAVE played! Great story and message about keeping on the narrow path. Some of those choices are just so subtle-you don't always know that you're straying off the path-even just a teeny bit.
Good story! Reminded me of a song I listen to often. It says, "Just remember when you're standing in the valley of decision and the adversary says give in, just hold on, the Lord will show up and He'll take you through the fire again." Great reminder in your story also, to hold on and stand firm in the Lord. Good writing. Very real.
EXCELLENT story. Your writing is superb. I'd love that game. If you created it, I'd suggest marketing it. I think it would sell. AWESOME. Your characters are well developed. BrAVO!
I especially like how Paula and Lacey found themselves on the same path and discovered their mutual need. It would be wonderful if we could all see the struggles of others as so similar to our own. Great job!
09/22/08
Wonderful entry! I could really "see" your characters. If the game you described doesn't exist...it should! Very well done.
I do believe you could market this game with its Christian messages. Great job.
Great game! :-) Seems we all have our own temptations. I'd love to own this game. Nice take on the topic and wonderfully written.
09/24/08
Wonderfully told story...nicely done!
I love this game! Where can I get one? My family and I could grow so much as we learn to make right choices.

This is an incredible piece.
10/02/08
Cool game, I want to play it. Liked the way you introduced Lacey and Paula's conflict early on, and then used the game to bring resolution later.
03/23/09
Dear Friend, you not only write so well (I love your ability to flesh out your characters in such few choice words), but the message comes through from a heart obviously full of the Word, the entrance of which gives light! Great writing, and I agree, you should market this game.

Thank you, too, for finding my new short story and leaving your comment. I sure appreciate you (and hope we can have another girls' day out soon!) Love and hugs!