The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 549 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/18/08
Jessica was a very foolish young woman!

This seemed very much "tell" and not so much "show"--like you were narrating Jessica's life. I didn't feel as if I really got to know her, and some of the circumstances seemed a bit unlikely.

I'd sure be interested in reading "the rest of the story"!
09/18/08
This could be a modern-day movie. I liked the building intensity of your story. Jessica seemed to "have it all," yet she wanted more… I enjoyed reading this.