The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/18/08
I love the uniqueness of his gift!

At times, the husband's long speeches felt a little bit sermon-ish to me...I think I'd have liked them broken up by some action, or by some dialogue from the wife.

I can't think of a nicer way to spend the evening that with Life and Life!
09/18/08
I enjoyed how this started with the deliver truck, and "a silly board game and a box of cereal." I had to smile at your ending with what was in the house, "an unopened box of cereal, and a new game." :) This was super heart-warming and satisfying to read.
09/22/08
That is such a neat idea! I like gifts that have meaning. I really enjoyed this piece :)
09/22/08
What a unique and charming story! I agree with Jan's comment about the husband's dialogue. The wife's seemed more true-to-life. I love the message in this piece, and the uniqueness of its presentation!
09/23/08
Very moving. A bit much on the husband's dialog, I would be interrupting several times!
Loved how he considered his actions before doing them.
09/24/08
Very nice work. I loved the husband's creativity...well done.
09/24/08
Cool! How original! A box of cereal and a game to say "I'm sorry." I love it!
09/25/08
Incredible piece!!! Congratulations on your Editor's Choice! ;)
09/25/08
Fantastic writing! Congratulations on your well deserved win!
09/25/08
This is written so well, it feels like a true story. Either way, kudos to the man for his unique gift, and his humility. Congratulations on well deserved placements!
09/25/08
Yay! Congrats Rick!
09/25/08
I loved your dialogue and the great message conveyed from this story. Congratulations on your 2nd place! Great Job!
09/25/08
This was very creative and I loved getting into the story... well done and congratulations on your 2nd place and EC!
09/26/08
This is a really cool way of demonstrating the topic. I loved how he explained the box of cereal and the board game. At first, I was thinking those were really lame gifts too, but by the end, all I could say was "Wow!" A nice and romantic story very deserving of it's top placement. :)