Man 1: Going up?
Man 2: Yep.
Man 1: What floor?
Man 2: Top floor, please.
Man 1 pushes the button. The two men stand in silence for a bit.
Man 1: So... Great weather we've been having, huh?
Man 2: Yep.
Man 1: I'm so glad it's almost... Woah! What was that?
Man 2: I think the elevator stopped.
Man 1: Boy. You're a smart one.
Man 1: I don't think I like that sound. Especially when I'm in an elevator.
Man 2: Oh, don't worry. It's probably just one of the cables.
Man 1: Just one of the cables? JUST?
Man 2: Relax. There are usually at least four cables per elevator, and each one is designed to carry the elevator's weight on it's own.
Man 1: Well, that's good to know. Hey, there's the emergency phone.
*SNAP!* The lights dim.
Man 1: Ok. So we're down to two cables now. I sure hope you know what you're talking about. (picking up the phone)Great. Just great. It's dead. I know! Maybe the buzzer alarm still works! (pushes button) *RING!* Oh, hallelujah, praise the Lord. It works.
Man 2: Yes, but you're forgetting one thing.
Man 1: Oh?
Man 2: We're in a college dorm.
Man 1: So?
Man 2: College students love to buzz the alarm just for kicks. No one pays attention to it.
Man 1: Ok, now I really hope what you said is true.
Man 2: Don't worry. It is.
Man 1: And how would you know?
Man 2: I'm the elevator repairman.
Man 1: You're the... GREAT! You can get us out of here!
Man 2: Not really.
Man 1: What do you mean? Don't you have the Jaws of Life or something in that box of yours?
Man 2: Do you really think they'd trust an elevator repairman with a pneumatic tool that has the power to crush bones and bend steel like putty? Even if I could get the inside doors open, we'd need someone to open the outside doors. If we're directly between floors, they'll have to move it somehow. Don't worry. We should be perfectly safe with just one cable. Don't panic.
Man 1: Yeah, but what's the most common reason for them to fail?
Man 2: Stress. Old age.
Man 1: Ok, so if three out of four have broken in the past five minutes, don't you think the fourth cable is just as old and stressed?
Man 2: Hmmm.... Good point. I think we can panic now.
Man 1 and 2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (banging on the door) HELP! GET US OUT OF HERE!
Girl 1 (muffled voice): Hello? Is someone in there?
Man 1: No! You're hearing voices in your head yelling at the top of their lungs for help.
Girl 1: Oh, ok.
Man 2 (rolling eyes): YES there's someone in here. Now go call for help. The phone in here is broken.
Girl 1: Hang tight.
Man 1 (to Man 2): Nice choice of words. Here we are, dangling by a thread in the utter darkness, and she tells us to hang tight. Well, might as well make the most of the time.(begins to sing horribly off key.) Kum ba ya, My Lord, Kum ba ya. Kum ba ya...
Man 2 (interrupting): My ears. They're bleeding. That last cable it going to snap to put itself out of its misery.
Man 1: Sorry. I'll stop now.
Man 1 and 2 (clinging to each other): MOMMY!
after a few seconds
Man 1: Wait a second... We're alive!
Man 2: And we aren't plummeting in utter darkness to our death! This elevator must have an extra backup cable.
Man 3 (muffled voice): Are you okay down there?
Man 1: I think so. Just get us out of here. Please.
Man 3: We're working on it. *CREAK* Ok, we've got the outer doors open. We see you. You're just a bit below the floor. We can get the door open, and pull you out.
*GROAN* Light pours in from above, as the two men shield their eyes. The men climb out with the help of Man 3.
Man 1: Whew! That's it. I'm never going near another elevator in my life.
Man 2 (pulling out his tools and waving a wrench in his direction): Yeah. Just be glad you have that option. Me? I've got to get this thing running again. Let's hope we never meet again.
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