The Official Writing Challenge
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An interesting travel log. The first scene is almost too graphic, but the overall story tracked. Sometimes the syntax was difficult, but the theme exposed itself and followed through the whole multi part essay. Novel take on the topic. Thanks.
The beginning is a bit too colorful for my liking, but good descriptions. Glad this guy finally realized what was so obvious. Good job.
Good story, but I almost didn't make it past the first part...a little too graphic for my tastes.
Interesting theme!
Well, I hope I never run into Smithers and that he doesn't come to Arizona. :) Ha… love the Arizona … nothing but dirt statement :) (When my Dad comes to visit, he thinks there are too many rocks in Arizona :) ) I think your "snap out of it" -- "snaps" are a creative way to write for this topic. It sounded like Joshua Jones had a date with predestination. :)
I loved the repetition of "snap out of it" through the piece, and the onslaught of grace that Jonesy couldn't ignore. Very well written!
Would have loved to see a little more of the story. Love how the preachers keep showing up. Ha.
I like this. It is graphic, but so is real life. And the beginning adds more effect to the ending. I like how God kept coming after him, in the form of preachers. Great job! Definitely on topic.
I didn't think it was any more graphic than the stuff we hear on the street any day. :) Only ink I'd suggest is keeping his name consistent throughout the piece - sometimes he's Joshua and sometimes he's Jonesey. Nice job - a great take on the topic; I'd like to read more!
I like this piece. I think we all have different tolerance levels for "graphic" or "suggestive" or whatever. I don't like to read those kinds of things "for their own sake". But if there's a great message (which this has), I can tolerate a bit of "edge". In fact, I think the edge can make the piece stronger gives greater contrast (as long as it's not overdone...and IMO, I don't see this as overdone.) God Bless!
I didn't find this too graphic. I thought that was actually the best writing of the story (not that anything was wrong with the rest, I just liked the beginning). I wish you had more words, because I wanted a tad more of each scene. I'm glad he finally was willing to talk to the preacher. Sounds like God was trying to get his attention!
Being a firefighter/paramedic, I didnt find this too graphic, at all. I think it was tastefully done. I loved the way God kept 'poking' him to get his attention!
I enjoyed this and didn't feel that it was too graphic at all. Great dialogue and I too would love to have seen a bit more of each scene. Great job!
There is certainly no escape for Jonesy from the preachers God has appointed for him to listen to. At least at the end of the story Joshua makes the decision to speak to the preacher chef. Wish the story continues from there a little longer though.
I didn't feel this was too graphic. Very well written. Great job.
Graphic? No, more so than "The Cross and the Switchblade" with David Wilkerson. Great job. It sounds like God was following Joshua. I'm glad he decided to talk to the chef/preacher.
Nothing but dirt? Nothing but dirt?!? Why, I'll have you know we have ROCKS! And CACTUS! And SCORPIONS! And one of the BIGGEST holes in the ground in the WORLD! (Good story, by the way)