The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/12/08
Nice work with the free verse! I know a lot of people that feel that way....good job capturing the emotion.
09/13/08
I did NOT expect the ending you gave. Excellent job creating the mood, and "fooling" me into thinking the MC was gonna fight back with his fists. Excellent.
09/13/08
A couple of slips of the finger on the keyboard: "AS it was yesterday" and "will BE nothing" but this was really, really good. The surprise at the end was great—I thought Mickey was going to give back exactly what he had received too!
I appreciated the footnote. I hope your brother didn't endure all that your MC did. You captured the emotions so well.
09/15/08
Excellent! Sadly, so many go through things like this. I *love* the way Mickey was going to get back at them!
Excellent!This is very powerful. I'm so glad when Mickey snapped, he prayed instead of what I thought was going to happen. Super!
You gave some excellent descriptions on bullying, though I wasn't wholly convinced by the transition from snapping into prayer..there must be a lot of anger to deal with..perhaps a bit too neat an ending in a real world.