Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Beach (07/04/05)

TITLE: Inside Out
By Deborah Bauers
07/10/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

"Will this beastly day never end!?!" Dr. Phillip Thatcher buzzed his receptionist. "Marlene, hold my calls. No one, not even God, Himself, gets through unless it’s a matter of absolute life or death!" Days like today really got to Phil. They made him wish he could just disappear. Yea, being gone from here was a real attractive notion.

"Whoa, buddy! Careful. You're starting to sound like one of your patients. Don't you even think about going off the deep-end, you hear me?"

"Oh, no, not you again," Phil whined. "Go peddle your relentless, responsible, dribble somewhere else. Good Lord, I'm not crazy! I'm just fried-burned out-up to here-tired of working in the cesspool of humanity. Give a guy a break!"

"Give yourself a break, ole buddy. You just need to get away from it all. Little Phil has forgotten how to play. Go do something fun, man."

Phil tightened his jaw and ground out his words, "Go away. Both of you. Get out of my head! No self-respecting psychiatrist has auditory hallucinations. Maybe I do need a vacation…somewhere on a deserted island…"

"You can't take a vacation, Phil. You've got a court deposition next week and at least a half a dozen patients that could go over the edge at any moment. You're a doctor for goodness sake. Act like it!"

"Hey, let up, stuffed shirt! Give Philly a break! Come on, Phil, when was the last time you let loose, had some fun?"

Working hard to drive out the voices, Phil did a visual sweep of the room; he was desperate for a focal point to ground himself. His eyes fell on his grandfather's Bible, a recent addition to his office. It was a family heirloom, handed down from father to son. Reverently, he reached out his hand and gently stroked the front cover; then he picked it up. A faded photograph fell from between its pages and fluttered to the floor. Phil retrieved it and found himself staring at a much younger version of his recently deceased grandfather. He was standing on a beach, his arms gesturing as if in conversation. In front, a little boy crouched over a lopsided sandcastle. The camera captured the image of a little makeshift flag fluttering atop the castle's turret. Staring hard at the picture, Phil first felt a tightening in his gut and then lightness in his head…



"Granddad! Look! Isn't this the coolest castle ever? I wish that the whole wide world was a beach. Then we could come here everyday. I love the beach!"

Raising both arms toward the expanse of beach, the boy's grandfather replied. "No, son, it wouldn't be the same if we could come here everyday. We wouldn't love it so much when we do come. The beach is a place where all the voices inside of us are stilled and we can only hear God. As the mighty waves of the ocean crash upon the sand, God's still small voice calms the raging seas inside a mans' soul and gives him peace. God created the beach to delight the heart of a child and the oceans to preserve the boyhood spirit of a grown man. Never forget this moment, Philly…."



"Dr. Thatcher, your next appointment is due in fifteen minutes."

"Whoa! That was some daydream." Phil imagined that he could still taste the salt… Chuckling at his own absurdity, he reached into his shirt pocket. His smile quickly turned into a look of puzzlement as his fingers encountered, not the smoothness of his favorite ballpoint, but what felt like a small twig. Pulling it out of his pocket, he drew in his breath sharply as a little bit of red cloth appeared on the end of the stick. "What the…it’s a …the flag in the photo…no, in my dream!" The small emblem slipped from Phil's fingers, hung suspended in space…and then it vanished.

... Moments later, the good doctor emerged from his office, grinning, barefoot, and with his pant legs rolled up to his knees. The man was actually skipping as he crossed his own reception area.

"Dr. Thatcher, are you okay? Wait...where are you going?" Marlene cried out in bewilderment.

"Going, I'm going to the beach," Phil chortled, "And I'm taking my little boy with me."

.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1470 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karri Compton07/11/05
Very original - nice work!
Debbie OConnor07/11/05
Good job! This was a lot of fun to read. I like the grandfather's description of the beach too. That's just how I feel about it!
dub W07/11/05
Very interesting...send this to Psychology Today magazine.
Shari Armstrong 07/11/05
Delightful :)
Suzanne R07/12/05
I love the plot and also the banter of the voices inside his head! Lovely!
Christine Sparrow07/13/05
I always knew they were like this, thats why I've never been to one.
Kyle Chezum07/13/05
Awesome story, and very original! I love psychological pieces, and this definitely was one! Good job!
Val Clark07/14/05
Doesn't do to challenge God, does it, he just goes and slips through the cracks. Enjoyed reading this one. Love the final image.
Nina Phillips07/14/05
I was chuckling at the end--what a day for Phil. That was very good reading. God bless ya, littlelight
Beth Muehlhausen07/15/05
This moves from complication to simplicity and seems to call me back to childlikeness. There's something comforting, here...!
Elisabeth Seiter07/15/05
Really enjoyable!
Maxx .07/15/05
I had doubts early but it captivated me. Ended up really liking thisone. good work!
Deborah Porter 07/18/05
Good reminder for all us "busy types" Deborah. I loved the way you ended it - what a picture! Congratulations on your 7th place in the Editors' Choice awards and on your Highly Commended for Level 3. Quite an achievement on this highly competitive week. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Deborah Porter 11/03/05
Hi Deborah. I'm just preparing the new FaithWriters' Anthology and need a short (two to three sentences) bio piece to include in a new section for the book - "Meet Our Authors." The bio notes need to be written in the third person. Could you please send it to me, urgently, via a Private Message? Thanks so much. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)