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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Snap (09/04/08)

By mick dawson



Moxatol in the ancient Soravian tongue, meant “Mistress of the Evil One,” but she had been known by many names. Some had named her, the “Nightmare Weaver,” yet the title she most preferred was the “Chaos Monger;” a title which summed up her nature most aptly.

If there was any truth to the saying that, evil often wears a pretty face, then it was doubly so for half blood Soravian-Vindavian temptress. Her beauty was surreal, so much so that grown men gaped at her while she wafted past them gracefully in the streets of the capital, Adella.
Abused at the hands of the powerful shaman that first purchased her, she vowed to herself that no man would ever lay hands on her again.

Her lips curled into a cruel grin at the memories of hardened men that would pursue her like drooling puppies, then when she wearied of them, she would destroy them horribly. Her last victim was a pirate who had the gall to lay his hands on her. In a busy street, she waved her hand, sending his body to hover aloft above the heads of his comrades. They watched as livid gashes appeared on his flesh, emitting ear splitting screams before fleeing, never learning that the source of the wounds were the talons of demons.

Men were so easily tamed; she had thus far brought her own nation to its knees, now her eyes were set on the nation of Nusalle. She could cow the land easily enough, she was sure. Their king was a pathetic weakling; no warrior as such but his people loved him.

‘Olleton the Wise,’ she sneered disgustedly.

It was a contradiction in terms. If he were wise, he would be a man of strength, not a man of peace. It would be a simple matter to assassinate him, thus toppling the most progressive nation of the known world but the gentle fool was protected by a score of champions. All, she knew she could subdue, save for one.

‘Curse The Forgotten One to the Hall of Shadows!’ she ranted aloud.

She stepped into the midst of her servants, shadow demons with horns and red eyes which blazed like burning coals. They bowed, dropping to one knee.

‘Moxatol,’ they rumbled reverently.

‘I feel that my queen more than detests the man but fears him,’ offered the nearest one.

‘How dare you!’ she shrieked, sending a hail of green sparks into him.

She ignored his screams, angered that a mere servant had the audacity to point out her weakness. In truth, she was afraid of the Nusallean, not because of his great strength, but because of his purity of heart. There was truth to the saying that perfect love casts out fear. His selflessness was a shield, rendering the effects of her powers useless on him.

Her eyes narrowed like a snake as she lowered her gaze to the giant, writhing form.

‘Get up,’ she ordered, ‘and make yourself useful; inhabit the likeness.’

The demon swiftly rose, racing across the cavern to a clay statue of The Forgotten One. Clay melted away to become flesh under the bandages. The fists tightened around the haft of the great double edged axe.

‘Come forth,’ she commanded.

In two strides, the formidable doppelganger approached the sorceress, crossing his axe over his chest in salute.

‘I want you to snap him,’ Moxatol hissed.

‘Snap him, my queen?’ he said in a voice to mirror The Forgotten One’s.

‘Aye, I want you to first snap his spine in your hands, then snap his soul from his body and bring it to me. If you fail in this then, then I will snap your soul from that pathetic vessel and throw it into the abyss; am I clear in this?’

‘Aye, my queen,’ said the guardsman, bowing.

Staring after him, she fumed, angered that a mere man could thus far thwart her, but her lot was to soon change. A smile etched itself on her face at the thought that her latest creation was the equal of The Forgotten One in strength and ability without the hindrances of morality. Once he was destroyed, she would then destroy his weakling king. When she had achieved this, the world would slip into a state of chaos. This thought cheered her greatly…she was the Chaos Monger after all.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 09/11/08
I was fascinated with your names: character, language, being, and place names. I wouldn't have any problem believing the spiritual aspects of this, especially since Satan imitates a lot of what God does. Great writing… I didn't want it to end….
Leah Nichols 09/15/08
Very interesting story....I definitely wanted to read more! Watch your commas, but otherwise great writing!
Kristen Hester09/16/08
How creative you are. This reads like a novel. I wanted background info because it really made me curious. Your names and descriptions are very good. Super job.
Lyn Churchyard09/17/08
Oooh, this was so good! I want to see the battle when the real and fake 'Forgotten One' meet. I always love reading your stories.