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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Beach (07/04/05)

TITLE: Buried Treasure (ii)
By Debbie OConnor


“Emmy, don’t forget your new sand toys.”

“I won’t mom!” Emmy pulled the bag of toys out from under a menagerie of stuffed animals, and then galloped toward the stairs with her blond curls flying.

She nearly collided with her brother at the top. His arms were so full of shovels, toy swords, bandannas and his biggest teddy bear that she could barely see him.

“Jake, that’s too much!” Emmy took the bear so Jacob could hold the handrail. She followed him carefully.

When they reached the bottom, the children burst out the door. They could not wait to get to Nanny’s beach house. Two weeks with Nanny were the highlight of every summer vacation.

“All aboard!” Daddy bellowed. Emmy and Jacob giggled. They were off!

Two hours later the family pulled up in front of a modest bungalow on Florida’s gulf coast. The sky was cerulean, streaked with wispy clouds that foretold a glorious day. The sun always shines in Florida, Emmy thought happily.

Soon Emmy and Jacob said goodbye to their parents and raced Nanny down a short path through the dune grasses that led to the beach.

“Maybe we’ll find a real treasure!” Jacob shouted.

“You never know, Jake.” Emmy was eager for adventure.

Nanny drug the wagon full of toys, snacks and necessities to a prime location. Emmy and Jake grabbed shovels and immediately began digging. Breaks were taken to eat and cool off in the surf, but their quest otherwise consumed them.

“Emmy! My hole is so deep; I think I can hear kids playing in China!”

“Let me listen.” Emmy pressed her ear into the wet sand. “Nah, that’s just the surf, Jake.”

Days passed, a glory of adventure for the children and great entertainment for their grandmother.

The last day of their vacation Emmy and Jacob awakened to rain. A tropical wave threatened to keep them indoors all day. The kids good-naturedly settled in to watch cartoons, read and color. Nanny supplied them with snacks. Then the power went out.

“No!” Jacob wailed. “Now what will we do?”

Nanny came to the rescue. She led them in playing Simon Says, Red Light, Green Light, I Spy, and Hide and Seek. Emmy dressed in Nanny’s clothes and Jacob made a hideout under her bed.

Finally, they played themselves out. Jacob crawled into Nanny’s lap and Emmy rested against her shoulder. “Tell us a story, Nanny,” she said.

“Hmm, well, let’s see. I’m a bit out of practice telling stories…let me think.” After a pause she began, “I’ve noticed you like searching for treasure. Did you know that the greatest treasure in the world lives in me and He can live in you, too?”

“What d’ya mean?” Jacob asked.

“Do you believe in Jesus?”

“Of course we do, Nanny,” Emmy said.

“But what does Jesus have to do with a treasure?” wondered Jacob.

“Jesus is the treasure!” Nanny laughed. “And if you believe in Him, He has sent His Holy Spirit to live in your heart. Did you know that the Holy Spirit can do miracles through you?”

“But we’re just little kids,” Jacob said skeptically.

“That doesn’t matter. David was just a boy when he killed Goliath. Samuel was a boy when he heard God calling him. I was only a girl when the Holy Spirit told me to lay my hands on my friend who couldn’t hear and God opened her ears.”

“You mean she was healed?” Emmy asked. “How old were you, Nanny?”

“I was exactly your age, Emmy. So, you see, God can help you know His Treasure and use you to do great things if you’ll let Him.”

“Wow!” Jacob said. “That’s like being a superhero.”

“Exactly,” Nanny laughed. “Jesus was the best superhero ever, and He said in His Word that you can be just like Him.”

Both children were quiet. A new respect for Nanny filled their hearts as she told them of many great things she had seen God do over the years.

A few hours later, Emmy and Jacob’s parents arrived to take them home.

“Did you find any buried treasure, Emmy?” her father teased.

“We sure did, Daddy!”

Everyone looked at Emmy in surprise.

“When we woke up this morning I thought our last day of vacation was ruined. I mean, indoor stuff is okay, but I love the beach. But Nanny made this day the best day of all. She’s a treasure!”

Critiques appreciated.

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This article has been read 1265 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Cheri Hardaway 07/11/05
I loved this on two levels. First, the young ones saw the treasure of the relationship they had with their grandma. Second, your story very simply shared the profound truth of the gospel. This is how all witnessing should take place - naturally and simply. A great read! Blessings, Cheri
Crista Darr07/11/05
I'd love to see this story as an illustrated children's book. Superhero Jesus indeed! The children remind me of all mankind - expending all their effort seeking treasure while the real Treasure is given freely. Great presentation of the gospel.
dub W07/11/05
I agree, this is a children's book ready for illustration. Very well done. Thank you.
Elisabeth Seiter07/11/05
Beautiful story of the real treasure, Jesus
Shari Armstrong 07/11/05
A delightful story!!!
Suzanne R07/11/05
Nice movement throughout, and of course, a great moral to the story. Well done.
Kyle Chezum07/13/05
Good job! This was very well-written and very creative.
Val Clark07/14/05
A well written story. Very visual.
Nina Phillips07/14/05
I agree, this would be a wonderful childrens book. Grandparents are awesome, we can learn alot from them. Very good story, enjoyed reading. littlelight
Pat Guy 07/14/05
Enjoyed the feel and the flow of this entry. A very natural progression the visit and the witness. Well done!
Beth Muehlhausen07/15/05
The relaxed flow of your writing facilitated my progression of thought so that it seemed perfectly natural to start with beach toys and end up talking about supernatural miracles! I can picture lovely illustrations accompanying this.
Lynda Lee Schab 07/15/05
Simple, yet beautiful. The message was introduced in a non-overt way, the relationship between Nanny & the kids a joy to read. A smooth, easy read. I'll echo the rest - would make a delightful children's book.
Blessings, Lynda
Maxx .07/15/05
very nice read! Simple, yet satisfying! Good work!
Amy Michelle Wiley 07/17/05
Cute story! Well done!