The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
07/11/05
I loved this on two levels. First, the young ones saw the treasure of the relationship they had with their grandma. Second, your story very simply shared the profound truth of the gospel. This is how all witnessing should take place - naturally and simply. A great read! Blessings, Cheri
07/11/05
I'd love to see this story as an illustrated children's book. Superhero Jesus indeed! The children remind me of all mankind - expending all their effort seeking treasure while the real Treasure is given freely. Great presentation of the gospel.
07/11/05
I agree, this is a children's book ready for illustration. Very well done. Thank you.
Beautiful story of the real treasure, Jesus
07/11/05
A delightful story!!!
07/11/05
Nice movement throughout, and of course, a great moral to the story. Well done.
07/13/05
Good job! This was very well-written and very creative.
07/14/05
A well written story. Very visual.
07/14/05
I agree, this would be a wonderful childrens book. Grandparents are awesome, we can learn alot from them. Very good story, enjoyed reading. littlelight
07/14/05
Enjoyed the feel and the flow of this entry. A very natural progression the visit and the witness. Well done!
The relaxed flow of your writing facilitated my progression of thought so that it seemed perfectly natural to start with beach toys and end up talking about supernatural miracles! I can picture lovely illustrations accompanying this.
07/15/05
Simple, yet beautiful. The message was introduced in a non-overt way, the relationship between Nanny & the kids a joy to read. A smooth, easy read. I'll echo the rest - would make a delightful children's book.
Blessings, Lynda
07/15/05
very nice read! Simple, yet satisfying! Good work!
Cute story! Well done!