The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/06/08
Oh, this is a great take on the topic! Love the voice - so authentic all the way through. Great stuff!
Well done.
Love your MC and her change of heart. This was a very good read, and yeah, it still works.
This was good!
I am pretty certain that the MC was a male, but your story didnt make that very clear.
I really liked the ending, the way the MC declared 'no more second thoughts'!
09/08/08
Wonderful story. I really loved the personal testimony. Everyone could sure use a friend like Tessa! Great job!
09/08/08
This was wonderful. Awesome voice. I loved the ending with the big bathtub and white nightgown, lol. Very nice job...I loved it.
09/08/08
Wow.. great story.. not sure you needed any more words! I LOVED the voice. You made me really care about the MC and I was excited about the ending. Great writing.
You nailed it! This was absolutely wonderful. The voice in this story, the acceptance of Christ as Savior, the baptism, everything - absolutely perfectly done!
09/08/08
Love it! Great voice, and wonderful characters.

Is the narrator a guy or a girl? Just a few words somewhere to establish that would be great.

This'd be super in a teen curriculum.
09/08/08
The voice is very good, and the story really sweet.

The dialogue threw me at the beginning--who was talking. And I never did figure out if the narrator was a guy or girl--maybe it isn't important. (I'm thinking guy, because of that one line where the friend said to have fuuuun.)

Good message, and I loved the ending, about the white gown. Perfect.
09/09/08
What a darling story, and I love the voice especially. Your ending was just right.
Great very believable dialogue. Especially liked the "praying scene." Excellent job with the topic.
09/10/08
I enjoyed it! Great witness in Tessa. The ending was especially fun! How old were these kids supposed to be? Say, junior high?
09/10/08
The dialect was interesting. I think you could tone it down just a little and still get the idea across. But that's cool to choose to use a dialect for the narrator. Since you said you're looking at publication for this, you might want to expand it and add more detail about their surroundings, environment, more background info about the other kids who were pranking/defacing the church, and more about Tessa outside of her faith.