The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/04/08
I enjoyed the fact that the car was name "Carla. :) Your ending message with the pastor's words about the "straight and narrow road" was a very good tie-in with your story. Our desert town is on the old Route 66 so I especially enjoyed this story.
09/05/08
'The roaring sound of Carla’s engine turned into the beeping sound of a heart monitor'
WOW. What a transition! And in more ways than one! Brilliant.
Your title roped me in and the action kept me there. You did a great job on describing Jenna, and the abrupt change of scenery at the high point of the race was brilliant. Well done!
09/08/08
Great action packed article! Very riveting. The background information is helpful but draws the attention out of the moment....I think you could achieve the same result if a lot of it was implied rather than explained, and that would give you more room to expand the plot line. Overall, excellent writing as usual. :)
09/08/08
Great title! Really strong entry, too.
09/08/08
The transition between street race and hospital bed was great, and the pastor's line at the end really good too. Well done.
09/08/08
A very intense story. Your writing kept me spell-bound right to the end, hoping against hope that Jared will come to his senses. Wish you can continue the story somewhere to put a 'happy ending' closure to the story. I like the pastor's approach in using a road Jared has yet to travel which is straight and narrow.
This is quite the adrenaline-pumping story! You did a wonderful job with it. I wish you had been allowed more words because it seemed a little rushed at the end, and yet everything you wrote added strength and meaning to the story, so I wouldn't want anything left out.
10/21/08
Hey, a Christian twist on the Fast and the Furious. Definitely a testesterone-powered read. Your title said it all.
11/06/08
WOW.

That's all i need to say.