The crickets and bullfrogs offered their nightly serenade as Billy approached Bubba and his gang. Tonight was initiation night. Johnny tagged along to watch.
"Ok, Billy," Bubba began. "It's real simple. Just hop right over that fence, and knock that cow over."
Billy eyed Bubba like he had grown a second head. "Bubba, that thing is bigger than you and your momma put together. There ain't no way I can knock it over."
"Sure you can. When they're sleeping like that, they're real easy to knock over. Why, all you'd have to do is poke it."
Billy gave a sideways glance back to the cow. "Bubba, why does that cow have horns?"
"Huh? Oh. That. It's nothing don't worry about it."
Billy wasn't too sure he liked this idea. "Why don't you show me how to do it?"
"Oh, I've done it hundreds of times. I don't need to do it again. But you? Well, you've never seen anything till you've seen a cow tipping over, helpless to right himself. Herself. I mean herself. I don't want to take that first experience away from you."
Billy took a deep breath. It was now or never. He hoisted one leg in the air, his hands ready to grab the fence. Wait a second. The fence. Wasn't it... "Woah. Hold on, Bubba. Back that tractor up. Isn't this an electric fence?"
"Oh, don't worry. We've gotten that taken care of. But I knew you'd ask, so I have my friend up there to make sure." Bubba yelled out, "Hey, Ike! Fence is off, right?"
Johnny was getting more and more uncomfortable with the situation. That was no cow standing out there in the field. It was a full-fledged bull. Summoning his courage, he stood up to defend his friend. "I don't see you touching it, Bubba."
"Hey, who invited you? You aren't supposed to be here."
"Billy invited me. And I want to see you touch it first."
Bubba was speechless. Who did this kid think he was? Oh well. It didn't matter. Bubba didn't have to answer to him. "Billy, I dare you to hop over the fence and tip that cow."
"Ooooo," Bubba's friends taunted.
Well, Billy wasn't a wimp. He took a deep breath.
Johnny had to do something. "Bubba, I double dog dare you not to do it."
"Oooo," the gang retoreted.
"Well, I triple dog dare you to do it."
The gang responded, rubbing their hands an anticipation.
"Billy, I infinity dog dare you not to."
Bubba began his protest.
"And!" Johnny continued, cutting Bubba off. "Don't even try that 'infinity plus one' or 'infinity times infinity' stuff. "Infinity by it's very definition is the largest number in the world. There's no such thing as infinity plus anything, or infinity times anything, or anything like that. So don't even think about it." Sometimes being a math whiz paid off.
"But... but," Bubba stammered, his gang loosing interest and walking away.
Billy smiled. "Johnny, I accept your dare." They gave each other high fives and walked away.
"Billy, you know that was a bull, right?"
"Well, I was pretty sure..."
"And do you know what bull that was?"
"Nope. Ain't got a clue."
"You mean... Not the Tornado. Not Tornado who bucks off every professional bull rider in the country and then gives the rodeo clowns a run for their money."
"The one and only." Johnny snapped his overall straps. "Yep. You'd better be glad I was there. You would have been ground to a pulp."
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