The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/04/08
Very interesting way of dealing with the theme. The computer language is not my forté, but the many messages here come through loud and clear.
09/05/08
Oh wow - what a very creative take on the topic. You got the lingo down pat, and I could certainly see this happening. Very well done.
09/05/08
Fabulous story. Find some youth club media to submit to, as this story needs to be moved around a great deal. There is a whole world out there which doesn't know how to respond to abuse. This story clicks and needs to circulate!

Actually a little expansion beyong the 750 word limit in the area of how help came wouldn't go amiss.
Great job. I am not familiar with all the computer lingo, but was proud of myself for figuring it all out. I felt I was there...especially since I was sitting at a computer when I read this. Bravo.
09/07/08
Very creative. Loved this. Kids who know all the lingo would really get into this story. Great job!
09/08/08
Wow.. I was hanging on every word. So scared for your MC and so relieved that she got help! Emotionally charged in spite of using a chat to tell us about it. Great job!
You did a super job of telling the story through dialogue, and IM dialogue at that! I'm impressed. Sadly, I'd guess Kellbell ended up in protective custody or foster care, but at least she's out of hat environment.
09/09/08
Oh, excellent! You NAILED the lingo, and the story was full of all the great story elements: conflict, suspense, surprise, characterization. Good 4 U!