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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Truth or Dare (08/28/08)

TITLE: Where Fools Rush In
By Pamela Kliewer
08/31/08


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Truth stands stalwart, capable, courageous. He exudes everything I despise.

My name is Dare and I pretend to be all he is. I wear my mask well and many times, those with whom I come in contact will believe anything I say, and do what I so cunningly suggest to them.

Even though Truth is always standing guard, people don’t often notice him because I’m a master at craftiness.

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. Picture this scene:

Two kids alone in a bedroom – a girl and a boy – around sixteen or seventeen. The door is shut, lights off, and aromatic candles are placed here and there around the room, casting shadows on the walls – a romantic scene to be sure. The perfect mood has been created. It’s time for me to whisper nudges toward fornication.

The kids are already connected in a lip lock. This should be easy.

Ease her back on the bed… it’s the right thing to do. Your hearts are already connected. It’s okay if your bodies are too, after all you’re going to be married some day.

Putting his hand behind her head, he begins to do just that…

I told you it would be easy…

Wait.

What’s this?

“Hey! What are you doing?” The girl is squirming, trying to get away.

Tell her what I told you.

“I’m just doing what we both want… our hearts are already connected, so it’s cool if our bodies are too.” A grin is plastered on his face. His eyes are pools of desire.

“I don’t think we should be doing this… I mean I know we have a heart thing going on, but this… this is just wrong. I – I I don’t even think we should have done this…” she waves her hand toward the candles. “It’s not right for us to take advantage of my parents being gone like this.”

Uh-oh. Truth must be speaking to this girl… and if she’s listening, I’m a goner.

Yes, I am here, Dare. This is one young couple you won’t have your way with, you with your smooth talk and convincing ways. Be gone!

A brilliant flash of light blinds me and I’m forced into the abyss, until next time I can ply my craft and get someone to take my dare… I can still see what’s going on in the bedroom. Rage burns within me at what I’m witnessing and I feel my face turning red with fury.

The girl twists and wrestles her way from underneath young man, gets up, and staggers across the room, her anguish evident. She turns on the light and extinguishes the candles. Truth begins speaking, his face peaceful and calm in the midst of the turmoil in the room. It makes me sick to see such sappiness.

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” Truth says in a gentle, yet firm voice. I want to puke.

I plug my ears, everything within me quaking at hearing Truth speak. Just as quickly I put my hands over my eyes, as I see the young woman bowing in submission to Truth, her face wet with tears, as the realization of what she was about to do washes over her in a wave of obvious mortification.

The young man slinks out of the room – his face a hard mask. It’s clear his heart hasn’t been touched by this display of emotion. Maybe I’ll get him in my clutches yet. I need to make sure he never has another chance to be drawn away to the Other Side. The girl, though, she’s gone to the side of Truth and the chances of getting her to listen to ‘ol Dare any more are slim to none.

Then again, I’ve seen Truth win more souls than I want to remember… especially when Christians are praying. I’ll have to make sure and distract those that would pray for the fool that just left the house…

_____________________

Scripture reference: 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)


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This article has been read 779 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Arlene Showalter 09/05/08
This is an extremely important message and well written. I enjoyed it very much.

I would have started the story right at the point of seduction in planning and woven the bits about truth and dare into it...just my HO!
Valarie Sullivan09/08/08
This was an excellent piece illustrating the war between Jesus and the enemy. Very well done!
Shirley McClay 09/08/08
Great story and excellent lesson!

I think you could have left out... "Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. Picture this scene:" It set it up as an example of dare winning out yet that wasn't your story... maybe instead you could suggest that we watch you in action... then it seems as if it is a fresh experience for both and anything might happen.

This would be great to share with teens. It really shows truth even when emotions and experience are trying to mask it. Gives them a great "other side" picture for both sides of the coin!
Leah Nichols 09/09/08
Nice job on the topic! In my HO, you could have Dare following the boy to the room and whispering the thoughts in his ear as a start to the piece, then have Dare shocked when he finds Truth there and expand on the struggle to win out. Excellent writing - you know how to draw the reader in!
Jan Ackerson 09/09/08
Oh, very good, and handled with great sensitivity.

I was mildly confused once or twice, because both Truth and Dare spoke in italics. Maybe have one of them in bold, instead, to distinguish their voices?

This should absolutely be discussed in your church's youth group!
Lynda Schultz 09/09/08
Really good story with an excellent message—more thsn one actually—people who pray, or should be praying, need to take note too. Well done.
Glynis Becker 09/10/08
Very well done. It's a perfect scene for showing the opposition to the Truth. Great job.
Catrina Bradley 09/10/08
You already have many good suggestions so I'll just add that I really liked this - the voice(s) is/are especially good. :) Cat
Marlene Austin09/11/08
"He exudes everything I despise." Excellent portrayal of this devious one. Very realistic setting and human characters. Great discussion starter for youth group study. :)
Rita Garcia09/11/08
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WELL DESERVED WIN! Wonderful story, woven with the perfect balance of all the elements that make a story shine.
Loren T. Lowery09/11/08
Congratulations, Pamela on your well-deserved EC win. Wonderful, thought provoking writing. Kudos! Loren
Laurie Walker09/11/08
Woo hoo Pamela!!! I'm so happy to see your EC win, and this story was powerful to say the least. Well done.
Sheri Gordon09/11/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is a great take on the topic, and a very realistic story. Nice job.
Jason Swiney09/14/08
A very important message tackled in a very creative way, congratulations on a well deserved EC.