The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 953 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/04/08
Oh what a wonderful story for youth club venues. I'd like to see it dramatised for that purpose. Very well presented, surprising at every turn and a wonderful climax.
09/06/08
Very good. Truth or dare can be a scary game but you showed how it was used for good and glorified God. I would leave off the last line about being amazing. the previous line is a great close already.
09/06/08
Ab-so-lute-ly very good job! You carried me all the way till the end. Good writing here.
I closed my eyes and prayed too for these real girls who have taken this step and found out it wasn't the easy way out at all.

This was a gripping story and an outstanding way to fit this topic.

I agree it should be dramatized and shared in any other ways to young girls. Thanks!
09/08/08
I loved the voice you used. It added depth and authenticity and kept me reading. Great job on something girls need to hear!
09/08/08
You did a great job of presenting a character and her environment in very few words. I also really liked the narrative voice. One improvement you could make would be to make the second half of the story sound a little less like everyone knows exactly what to say--the first part sounded very authentic to me, but then when they started talking about their abortion experiences, it started to sound rehearsed to me. This story could probably do better with a longer word limit.
09/09/08
Very interesting! Well done - great take on the topic. I agree that you could definitely expand the story - it's rushed, likely due to the word limit. Great job, though, especially for your first challenge!
Excellent story with an amazing message that should be shared. Great job writing on the topic.
09/11/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is really good--you nailed the voices and attitudes of teenage girls. Very good writing, and great job with the topic.
09/14/08
Very well done - I like the voice of the MC during the early descriptions. The action does seem to get rushed during the dialogue, but the message still shines through very effectively. Congratulations on a well deserved EC!