The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/29/08
Excellent juxtaposition between the somewhat shallow prayer and the situations going on nearby, unknown.

I had to re-read the ending twice to get it...maybe a little row of three asterisks to separate the last two paragraphs would signal the reader to be alert for a POV change.

Love the title, and the MC's change of spirit. The last paragraph is particularly strong.
09/01/08
Very nicely done. Interesting back and forth between the prayer and what's going on around him. Soldier's growth in the lord was especially touching. Thanks.
Amazing how you captured the bit of immaturity I think we all go through as believers. Only God can change that and you did an outstanding job of showing one of the many ways that He does. Wonderful writing!