The Official Writing Challenge
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Your use of hyperbole has some great examples for Jan's lesson on the subject. I enjoyed your fun story and thought the "new guy" was just right.
08/31/08
Super voice! And I should have seen your twist coming, but I totally didn't--testament to your superior writing. Loved it.
08/31/08
Woo -oo! So romatic!
Having some kids going through these same stage, I had to laugh. You hit it right on with those inner thoughts.
Well written.
08/31/08
The Ugkly Duckling becomes the Gorgeous Swan! Love the dialogue-inner and spoken-in this piece. It sets the mood and takes me back to those worrisome single days! Fun to read.
08/31/08
The thumb-sucking comment is snortingly funny. I love how the MC's thoughts slow down (with use of ellipsis) as she's checking out Brian's sleek and chiseled make-over. You let humor and your character's sarcasm make your point about this less patient love. I feel a bit badly for Brian though because I want to know for sure--with some hint worked in-- that the MC is truly coming around and will love him for his heart too rather than the superficial things.
09/01/08
You have described my life with stunning clarity! :) I SO RELATE to having the chipper younger crowd that says, "you just need to wait". YEAH, it's been like 11 years now since God told me my husband was coming! I liked the twist - there's a few guys I know that would fit that category. I don't think it's all about being superficial, though....I recognize that knowing someone's heart is paramount, but things like feeling attracted do matter - even just a little. A haircut sometimes does a world of good! :)
09/01/08
I love the MC's voice, her understated sarcastic wit, and all of that.
But if she thinks any guy would shave his chest for any gal after the "I do," she's nuts!
:-)
I remember back to the days when I thought that all I needed was to get married, and everything would be "happily ever after."

Lord, teach us to be content in You, whatever our state in life!
This story is my favorite so far this week in the masters category!

I know exactly what it is like to listen to the overly peppy younger crowd with their ultra positive attitudes towards finding a mate. It always annoys me, because I am 26 and still waiting patiently (or at least trying to wait patiently).

I know I'm still young, but every day I think about he clock ticking down for me. I could really relate to the sarcastic humor in this piece, because I often use a similar humor myself when talking to people about this subject.

The description of Brian in the beginning was hilarious, and you really hit a chord with your subject matter. Great job!
Your mc is so real for her role - a testamony to your great writing! I like the twist about Brian - at first I thought it might just be an old schoolmate she'd had a crush on showing up.
You have captured the heart of probably every 30-something single out there.

09/03/08
Fantastic! Loved the MCs voice...the line about the girls texting each other killed me! Excellent writing!
This was so good. I loved it! I could picture the entire scene from beginning to end. You weaved this tale well.
09/03/08
Great make over on the singles theme. I hope looks aren't everything. I'd better check with the Mrs.
I loved this from the opening sentence. Great voice and humor.