The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/28/08
The realistic depiction of Ashley is sadly disturbing because it's so true of the young kids today. Too many have no idea what sacrifice means--and that's a shame. On a brighter note, I did a lot of head bobbing as I related to this piece. Grannies everywhere give this granny a pat on the back for her patience! Good job!
08/28/08
I've seen this attitude on too many young women in recent years and it is oh-so sad. I love this line: "On the rare days that Ashley’s life was not in crisis, she created one." I know many who fit that description. The ending warmed and broke my heart at the same time. Wonderful writing.
Your story, right on topic,
introduces us to a wonderful character. I'd love to know Grammy.
08/31/08
Fantastic piece. One of the qualities I try so hard to instill in my children is delayed gratification. That is one thing that proves maturity. I loved the characters and the situation here. Great job!
08/31/08
Awwww. I loved the ending. So sweet. I'd say she has quite a bit of patience! Great job.
08/31/08
The comparison to Grammy's life at the end of this wonderful story really packs a punch and shows her grand-daughter's "troubles" up for what they really are:the results of immaturity. Great story!
08/31/08
It sounds like Ashley needs to spend lots more time with her patient Grammy so she'll learn a little of it.
08/31/08
That last picture says it all—she doesn't have any patience and there she is, a living example of it. Well done.
09/01/08
Excellent! It is astonishing that self-centered Ashley could say and feel such things right next to her grandfather's bed. It's sad that people really can be that way. And I thought the last line was so perfect! Grammy recognized that there was impatience in her heart and felt bad about it, even though her behavior was so patient. She was looking at the heart of everything.
Very good.
09/02/08
Very good tale of today's young people, I was quite surprised by the end, with Grandpa being there. Very good story.
So often, the invalid are treated as "furniture" in the room, as this granddaughter did. Excellent portrait of the grandmother's relationship with husband and granddaughter.
I was deluded by the sights you willingly revealed, distracted by the "rotten" granddaughter, empathetic to the MC, and appalled at the discovery there was another party present which the granddaughter completely ignored! Oh, my... :]
09/03/08
Very real...sadly so. Talk about patience, though. Grammy is an ideal example, both in regards to her husband and her granddaughter. She should have told her off, right there. LOL. Of course, who hasn't been Ashley at some point? Hmmm. Something to think about. Nice descriptions, excellent writing, as always.
I enjoyed reading this story. I got a bit frustrated with Ashley and was really wanting to give her a piece of my mind, but then I wouldn't be demonstrating patience would I? LOL. I'm glad that Grammy handled it much better than I would have. :)

Thanks for sharing this.
09/04/08
Kristen, this piece is brilliant, and I'm glad the judges thought so too! Congrats on another Editor's Choice!
Absolutely wonderful piece of writing. Loved the title. And the contrast between the generations and the "patience" of the two women is so very striking. Excellent!!!! And congrats on your well deserved EC.
09/04/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is really, really good. I can't believe the Grandmother held her tongue--I was giving Ashley a verbal lashing. Great job with the dialogue, and nice take on the topic.
09/04/08
Kristen, this is wonderful! So much reality here and I love the title. Grammy is certainly a very special person! Very well deserved EC!
09/04/08
By the looks of the many (and lengthy) yellow boxes, I think you definitely touched a nerve with this piece. A truly realistic story (because I wanted Granny to physically slap the girl upside the head) and a great last line. Congrats on a well deserved EC!
09/05/08
This was beyond excellent...superb. Loved the zinger last line. Super congratulations!
09/06/08
Your ending is an absolute winner. Congrats on your EC!!