The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/08
Very sad, and applicable to man family situations--I'm glad you left the specifics of the family problems vague.

However, I'm not sure how "charade" applies...is it that the subject of the poem hid something important from the family? And the meter was a little bit inconsistent throughout.

It's very obvious that you poured your heart into this poem!
08/25/08
Good job. Very heartfelt family situation. The rhyming fell apart once in awhile. i don't quite see charade, unless it's the child "knowing" Jesus. Overall, nicely done.
08/25/08
I like this poem, deep with emotions. I think that maybe the emotions have overpowered the challenge prompt "charade". Rereading is clear - first stanza, then repeated later "If you had told me who you were
If you had only explained". Good job. God bless and keep writing.