The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
08/21/08
You set the scene very well. The King in this story reminds me a bit of King Xerxes from the book of Esther. I didn't see the twist at the end coming. Well done!
08/21/08
Well told. Thanks
08/21/08
Enjoyed the read...a charade well "played."
08/21/08
You took us straight into the action with great descriptions and characterization.
Who would ever suspect a clumsy court jester to be a skilled assassin? Great story, well done!
08/21/08
Clever story!

I'd suggest a bit of comma editing, to give your piece a smoother flow.

I really enjoyed this story.
08/24/08
Very good story. Nice descriptions. I like the surprise ending.
08/27/08
A great story - I could see the action so well from your writing. I was wondering where the charade was, and then the ending. Love it!
08/28/08
Very cleverly told. I love the irony of the jester making a fool of the others :)