The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 833 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/21/08
Nice story. You have the emotions down of that age. i like the ending. Good job.
08/21/08
Cute title, cute story.

I felt that the ending seemed "tacked on"--would have preferred it if you stayed in the voice of the 4th grader. It had a nice, nostalgic feel to it.
I laughed at the end! Too funny!
Wow what a story and what a gracious ability to turn such a discouraging situation into something so grand.
08/22/08
Is this for real? If so, then the ending is fine. Otherwise I agree with one of your other reviewers that the ending would have been more poignant ending the paragraph before. Engaging tale, though. Intriging too, to know where the ring ended up.
Did you write this about me? ;) Well, except for the insurance part. The ending was a good twist and suprise yet there wasn't much segway into it. I think the ending was fine, but could have used a short paragraph before it that alludes to "what comes next."
09/03/08
I think you could just expand the ending and maybe put it first, then explain why you named the company. The flow would help, and it would be more of a mystery as to what Angie would do with the ring until the very end. Good job!