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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hide and Seek (08/07/08)

TITLE: A Fraggy Fable
By Shirley McClay
08/14/08


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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a Fragoozle named Fraggy. Fraggy wasn’t just any Fragoozle. She was special.

Fraggy had huge ears that stuck out from her head and wispy body hair that frizzed in the lovely humid air of Fragoozleland. Her head was beautifully bald and smooth and her bulgy eyes were the color of mud… they even crossed enticingly when she smiled. Her teeth were a lovely yellow and her skin an emerald green. No one in all the land could compare to her beauty.

But she had a problem. Grut was not in love with her.

Grut was the most desired male Fragoozle for very good reasons. He cared and provided for his family and worshiped the Creator with everything in his Fragoozle heart. He was handsome in the truest Fragoozle sense.

But Grut never looked twice at Fraggy or at any of the girls that sought his attention. He was focused entirely on his Creator and his family. Unfortunately for Grut, this just made him more appealing to the Fragoozle women.

“Creator has promised me that He will provide a mate when His time is right. All He asks of me is to obey Him today and He will train me to be the Fragoozle that my mate will need. I will not seek a mate, but allow Creator to find one for me.” This is all he would say to the anxious mothers of the many eligible ladies of Fragoozleland.

Fraggy decided to change her tactics and so she thought and thought. “What get’s Grut’s attention? The Creator!” So Fraggy went to the elders and begged them to teach her about the Creator. She sat and listened for hours to the tales of His care for them throughout history and His provision for an eternity to spend with Him.

Fraggy began to understand Grut’s love for Creator and deep inside of her was kindled a craving to please Him with her life. She even forgot the original purpose of her search. Her longing to catch Grut’s attention was diminished. Instead, her days were filled with the joy of finding ways to serve the Creator and worship Him.

This, of course, caught Grut’s attention. Fraggy’s outer beauty now glowed with an inner light. She had become a new Fragoozle and it was evident to all who knew her before.

“I seek the Creator continually
I seek His contentment and peace.
Hiding beneath his protective wings
Safe from distractions and evil things
He is all that I need.”

Fraggy sang this song in her work throughout the day and shared her new thoughts with others. “I have spent my life hiding from the Creator and seeking attention from Fragoozles. Now my heart aches with the joy of hiding in my Creator and seeking to know Him more.”

One day Fraggy was on her way to deliver some herbs and roots when her foot slipped as she crossed a bridge. She fell… face first… into the swamp.

A giggle bubbled out as she struggled to her feet in the mire. No longer did she wonder if she would catch anyone’s attention. Her lovely frizzed hair was matted with mud, she had brown sludgy moss in her teeth, her scaly skin was caked, and even her head had lost its lovely shine.

The worst thing of all… there was Grut reaching out his hand to help her from the swamp. Her heart raced and embarrassment turned her emerald skin yellow.

She dared to lift her eyes to his as she stepped gracelessly onto the dry ground. Grut’s affectionate smile surprised her. He reached out with his gnarled fingers and tenderly brushed moss from her nose. His words sent her heart soaring.

“You have never looked more beautiful than now, sweet Fraggy. Your beauty in the past was uglier than this moss that clings to your hair. But now your inner beauty glows so it’s all I see… even this mud,” Grut paused as he reached up and gently, even lovingly, caressed her dirty bald head, “cannot hide the glow of the Creator within you.”

She caught her breath and stepped back in alarm. “Grut... you mustn’t… it’s unseemly.”

His laugh rang with joy. “Dear Fraggy… even now our parents are meeting with the elders and planning our wedding. I have at last found the one that the Creator had hidden away to prepare for me even as he prepared me for you.”


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This article has been read 767 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 08/14/08
I love Fraggy and Grut. What a cute couple. Very good story-telling and wonderful descriptions.
Debi Derrick08/14/08
I like this! What a great story, done with compelling descriptions.
Deborah Engle 08/17/08
This was hard for me to get into, as I don't generally enjoy stories about Fragoozles. Once I got past me prejudice, I realized the story was quite entertaining, and had a wonderful moral. Nice job.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/17/08
I love your fragoozles, and who'd have thought how you would manage to tuck in such a great message.
Ellen Dodson08/17/08
The writing is excellent. And you are an excellent writer!!! I absolutely loved your last entry!! I am a big fan of the more realistic pieces. This was hard for me to stick with because it seems like it was written for children, which is fantastic, but the message itself seems more appropriate for teens or adults. It was just hard for me--maybe because I am odd--to mesh the theme with the genre/mode. Individually the two are good, but together, they just didn't work for me. Hope this helps. I cringe when I leave red ink critiques because I never know how they'll be received, but know that do it with an honest, compassionate, sister-in-christ heart.
william price08/17/08
I love new words and reading experiences. Very pleasent and entertaining. God bless.
Joshua Janoski08/17/08
This is a story that really appealed to me because of the subject matter. Being a young and single guy wanting to get married someday, I find that it is often hard for me to wait on God's perfect timing. This story gives me hope that if I wait on God, then he will send the right woman into my life at the right time.

I think this story would appeal to a lot of other young adults in the same situation as me. Married folks might not get the point, but that doesn't matter. They aren't your target audience anyways. Thank you for sharing this.
Betty Castleberry08/18/08
Oh, wow. This was WAY too much fun, and it even has a message to boot. I love your imaginary world and creatures. This line made me chuckle: "He reached out with his gnarled fingers and tenderly brushed moss from her nose." Two thumbs up!
Lauryn Abbott08/18/08
Awww... This was sweet, cute and thoroughly enjoyable, but with a great message too. I love how in her quest to find her mate, she first and foremost found her Maker. I really liked this. :)
Patrick Whalen08/18/08
Fantastic Fragoozling! After having read a number of other "real-world" entries, this took me by suprise, pleasantly!
Joy Faire Stewart08/20/08
With all the descriptions, this was fun and with a great message. I especially enjoyed the 3rd from the bottom paragraph.
Marlene Austin08/20/08
Such charm in your creativity. Well-written story. :) IMHO - I would have preferred an entirely different name to your creatures. "Fragoogle" was so close to the copyrighted "Fragle Rock" series. Great message. :)
Sara Harricharan 08/20/08
OOOOH! Very fun! I loved this new look at an 'old problem'. Especially the characters and Fraggy herself, such a fun read, with a good lesson. I especially liked Grut. Nice job! ^_^
Heather Sargent08/20/08
Haha! This is so cute, I love this story. Nicely done.
Pamela Kliewer08/20/08
What a cute story! You engaged me from the start. Love it.
Beckie Stewart08/20/08
AWWWWWWWWW! I love this little tail of truth and creativity. Good for Grut and Fraggy. Great story!
T. F. Chezum08/20/08
This is very good. I like the unique take on the subject as well as the originality of the characters ... great job.
Karlene Jacobsen 08/20/08
This is a great story, although I was caught off guard. I thought at first I was reading a children't story. After a bit I began to think what a neat way to put the message.

My oldest is a 16 year old girl who thinks about one day meeting the man God has set aside for her. This is the message I usually tell her, in my boring mom way.

Anyway, please forgive the rambling. I enjoyed the read.

Great job.
Chely Roach08/21/08
This was AWESOME...truly one of my favorites for the week!

Loved it!