Huddled in the eastern grove of palm and fig trees
behind a massive yucca,
awkwardly disjointed from Husband
our hands unclasped, tucked against our bellies,
strange searing-cold worms slinking through my gut--
later known as Fear,
I anxiously await the night
certain the darkness sufficient to conceal us
if He comes seeking.
Firelight of day is descending lightly, without hurry
the way just yesterday I loved,
its cast-off rainbow sparkles flirting with me joyfully
as I danced across the garden,
Husband singing in counter-harmony to
cardinals and ostriches, leopards and hyenas
all celebrating the day, welcoming the sunís rest
its rays cloaking us with golden, ephemeral hues
as we awaited Him.
My mind whorling with horrific, unnatural images
foreign emotions striking iron-arrows into me
a soundless drum pounding inside my head
my empty stomach topsy-turvy,
Husbandís muscles tightening as if readying to race
slick sweat reflecting blood-red sheen,
as the blushing sun creeps toward the horizon,
desperately, we await black obscurity
before He comes seeking.
Evening's slithering approach
nosing its way from my toes up my bare skin
fiery tongues of deepest cold,
I tremble like an almost-standing newborn fawn,
despairing as Husband savagely rips fern palms
winding scratchy-sharp fronds
green sheaths about my torso, and his,
wiltingly woeful wrapping of the uncoverable
for He comes seeking, calling.
Whimpering at His approach, my mouth twisted,
then crushed by Husbandís hot, hairy, heavy hand
as he hisses for quiet, unquestioning obedience,
I am afraid and ashamed, heart tattered as the frond over my breasts;
no, I am angry, a heady rush of determination
grinding my teeth into the meat between his thumb and forefinger
sweet-salt liquid trickling down my throat
stagnant dew-damp night air filling my lungs
when the Awaited arrives.
in fullness of knowledge
we face Creator-Father;
the hiding ends
if it ever was.
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