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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hide and Seek (08/07/08)

TITLE: The God Stuff Stick Monologue
By william price


"Where are you, Vincent?

"I've looked in the basement, in the back by the old coal furnace. I even quickly walked through the dark corners where the scary spiders slept. Don't ask me why, I just wanted to make sure I checked everywhere.

“I don't have much time.

"I searched in the school; climbed in through an open window. I found pictures of JFK on the walls, Dr. King's name written on a blackboard and even a Mickey Mantle baseball card stuck with Bazooka Joe Bubblegum in your locker. You weren't in the gym either; nothing but echoes there.

"The hallways were all empty in the school, Vincent. Now where are you?

"I even went to the river, down by the Willow trees. You know, the picnic table where you always sat; alone I might add. I thought you might be there, hanging out, thinking about stuff and writing in that little book. What did you always write about? What was so important? What ever happened to that little book?

"I need to find you, Vincent.

"You weren't at the prison visiting dad, or at the Gun Club helping mom tote the garbage. Why did you always help her do her job? That was her work. You didn't get paid. She was fun to talk to, though, wasn't she Vincent? She always made a lot of tip money. Mom always made the tables laugh. You'd think she actually liked being a waitress. Yep, Mom was…

"Hey, Vincent, I even took a walk, a fast one mind you, because you know I don't like cemeteries, passed Mom and Dad's stones. You weren't there either.

“Listen, Kid, this is starting to get important. I need to find you.

"Vincent, I'm getting tired of looking. I'm a little weak. I hear some sirens coming. I think I'm gonna sit for a minute; take a rest, but I better not.


"Vincent, I know where you are. You always broke into the church and played the piano and organ at night.

"There you are, Vincent.

“ No kidding, it doesn't look good. It doesn't feel good either. I didn't think they made knives that big; at least not one somebody could hide. Man, he was quick too, Vincent. He cut me before I knew it.

"I gotta know something, Kid. Am, am I saved? You know, going to Heaven?

"Who am I?

"Give me a break, Kid. You mean to say you don't know who I am? Look at my eyes; blue like yours. See this scar below my lip? Yep, now you’re catchin' on. That’s right; third grade, Little League, Johnny Moe's fastball. You know it hurt. Yep, we cried too.

“I knew I was a smart kid.

"Now, Vincent, I gotta know. Are we saved?"

"We are; I am!

“You, we were just were born again yesterday.

“You see, I thought I remembered something like that, but the memory didn't stick. Am I still going to Heaven?

“Sure, I'll pray again just to make sure.

“ I know you're just a kid. I am giving you a break. I just don't want you going through all the crap I did for nothing.

"Listen, Vincent. I don't have much time, but you gotta do me a favor before we pray. You have to make this stuff stick.

“I’m talkin’ about Church, knucklehead; being saved and all of that. Don't let nobody talk you out of it, okay.

"Vincent, I don't think those sirens are gonna get here on time.

"Okay, let's pray.

“ Father-God, I know that I broke all your rules and my sins have separated…and I ask that you forgive me…and I make you Lord of my life…


"Whoa, dudes. Man, like I thought I was taking a nap.

“ But, I gotta go. God must be callin’.

“Going to church, bros.

“Hey, when your older dying-from-a-stab-wound future self, as in me lookin’ like a grunge, comes to visit and asks if he’s or I’m saved; you go to church.

“Can’t let that Bible stuff wear off. Got to get back in Jesus and see if I can still play the piano.

“No, I didn't drink any of that. I'm stone cold sober and gonna stay that way. Gotta roll dudes and make some God stuff stick. I ain't going out that way.

“ Yaw'll can come, because I ain't comin' back. Not like this anyway.

“And, put that knife away, Joey, before you hurt somebody. Trust me. Later, dudes."

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Member Comments
Member Date
Amy Michelle Wiley 08/14/08
I think I got the main idea of this, but I did get a little lost, especially in the second half. Clever idea.
Kristen Hester08/15/08
What an interesting creative concept. The Older Vincent is talking to the younger Vincent as he's dying from a stab wond. Very original. Nice job!
Joanne Sher 08/16/08
Very out-of-the-box :) Intense, with a great voice. Super descriptions especially.