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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hide and Seek (08/07/08)

TITLE: Why Are You Hiding In The Bathroom?
By Mariane Holbrook
08/10/08


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I promised Mom and Daddy that I’d follow Christ some day.
I’d ask Him to forgive me and wash all my sins away.
But I was still a little girl and there was lots of time;
I still had valleys to go through and mountains still to climb.

When I was eight years old, my sister, Norma, whispered low,
“I have a secret just for you; no one must ever know.
I found the great big Hershey bar that Daddy hides away;
The treat he always gives himself the day he gets his pay.”

We stole our daddy’s chocolate though we knew that it was wrong.
But even at that tender age, the urge to sin was strong.
We savored every bite, then ran and hid far from our dad.
He’d search until he found us and we knew that he’d be mad.

For months he talked to Sis and me about our being saved.
He lectured us on conduct and how badly we behaved.
I told him I would come to Christ as soon as Norma did.
(I knew that’d never happen ‘cuz she was an awful kid).

But one night at revival, they invited folks to come
And give their hearts to Jesus; I was literally struck dumb,
For down there at the altar rail knelt Norma, crying tears.
I’d never been as shocked as I was then, in all my years.

I saw my daddy turn around to see just where I stood.
He saw I wasn’t at the altar like I said I would.
I crawled beneath the pews where I scraped both my knee and shin
And ran into the ladies’ room where Dad could not come in.

But just as God has promised to seek those who hide from Him,
I knew my chance of getting by was less than none and slim.
And sure enough, not Dad but Mom, took over “hide and hunt.”
Do I lose points since Mother had to drag me to the front?


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This article has been read 733 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/15/08
Hehe - cute. Great rhymes, and a fun story.
Lynda Schultz 08/16/08
Cute! And mom playing the part of "hound of heaven" and pursuing you into the bathroom was priceless.
Helen Dowd 08/16/08
That left me with goosebumps again, and a big lump in my throat. You see, I also followed my big sisters to the altar, at the age of 8. One night my sisters went to a meeting and came home and said they had been saved. The next night, accompanied by Evelyn, my second oldest sister, I ran to the altar and cried my eyes out. I knew, even at age 8 that I was a sinner...Parents' salvation does not save you...Thanks so much, M, for sharing this wonderful poem...Helen
Karen Wilber 08/16/08
Funny story. Your MC is a real character.
T. F. Chezum08/17/08
Fun read ... good rhyme and meter. Great job.
Joy Faire Stewart08/17/08
If this isn't true, (I believe it is), you sure know how to get into the head of a child. Excellent writing.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/17/08
I'm guessing this delightful little girl grew up to be a delightful "Christian" woman, full of fun AND the joy of the Lord. As usual, you're delivered a wonderful, humorous narrative in just-right verse. I always enjoy your stories so much.
Betty Castleberry08/17/08
LOL! This is lots of fun. Great rhyme and meter, too. Kudos.
Heather Sargent08/18/08
Haha! I liked this, it's a great funny story. Well done.
Lauryn Abbott08/18/08
Funny story/poem here. I really enjoyed the youthful mischief you've captured. Thanks for sharing this "almost" true story.
Ellen Dodson08/19/08
My husband is a big chocolate bar fan, and I steal his all the time! I enjoyed the humor of this piece, but somehow found myself melting for the bad sister crying at the altar.
Mariane Holbrook08/19/08
Several have asked me about my sister, Norma. She was so dramatically converted to Christ that night that people all over town talked about the change in her life. After graduating from high school and Bible College, she served with her husband in West Africa for over 35 years as an outstanding missionary and soul-winner, with two of her three children returning to Africa themselves as missionaries after Bible College and Seminary. As Paul Harvey would say, "And now you have the rest of the story." :-)
Beckie Stewart08/20/08
This is excellent. Such a good and catchy poem with great message. Good job.