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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Bridge (07/31/08)

TITLE: Row, Row, Row Your Goat
By Allison Egley


Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.

Tony Troll sang softly as he lounged under the bridge. His bridge. Just as he was about to doze, he heard a noise.

Trip, trap, trip, trap

In one mighty leap, Tony propelled himself onto the bridge. "Who's walking over my bridge?" Tony asked, in that all too familiar villain voice.

"Billy Billy Goat Guff," the intruder said.

"'Billy Billy?' What kind of name is that?" Tony asked.

"I'm the youngest. My parents were running out of "B" names when they got to me."

"We'll, it's no matter what they call you, because I am going to eat you."

"Oh, please don't eat me," Billy Billy begged. "My brother will be coming over soon. Eat him. He's much bigger than me."

"I'm pretty hungry. How about if I just eat both of you?"

"Mr. Troll, do you really think my brother will come over if you eat me?"

"Hmm... you make an excellent point. Be on your way."

With a flip of his head and a taunt, Billy Billy crossed the bridge and gorged himself on the luscious grass.

Trip, trap, trip, trap

That must be Billy Billy's older brother.
With flair and a twist, Tony jumped onto the bridge. "Who's walking over my bridge?" Tony asked.

"I'm Bobby Billy Goat Gruff."

Tony sized him up. He was noticeably larger than Billy. "And just where do you think you're going?"

"To the other side of the bridge to join my brother Billy Billy."

"Well, you can just mark that right off of your calendar, because I've got a different schedule. You, my friend, are scheduled to be my lunch."

"Oh, please don't eat me. My older brother will be coming soon, and he's much bigger than I am."

"Well, why don't I just eat both of you?"

"Mr. Troll, I really thought you to be more intelligent. Surely my younger brother said the same thing to you when he walked past. And surely he told you I wouldn't come if you ate him. So do you really think our older and wiser brother will come across the bridge if you eat me?"

Tony eyed Bobby Billy skeptically. "Just how many of you are there, anyway?"

"Oh, only three."

"You promise there's only one more of you, and he won't just say the same thing?"

"Cross my hooves and hope to die."

"Well, I suppose you'll have to hope to die for just one more day, because you do make a valid point. I shall wait. But I must ask one more question. Where's the family loyalty? Don't you care if your brother is eaten?"

"Our natural enemies are the mountain lion, jaguar, and cheetah. We learn not to get too attached."

"Another valid point. Run along. I have no use for you."

With a flip of his head and a taunt, Bobby Billy Goat Gruff was on his way, gorging himself until he had a stomach ache.

Trip, trap, trip, trap

Tony rubbed his hands together and let out an evil laugh. With the finesse of an Olympic pole-vaulter, he catapulted himself onto the bridge. "Who's walking across my bridge?" He sang, with an evil glint in his eye.

"Iím Bubba Billy Goat Gruff."

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"To join my brothers in the field. You know what they always say, 'The grass is always greener on the other side of the bridge.'"

"You will not be joining your brothers. And don't try the 'There's another bigger goat coming' line on me. Your brothers sealed your fate. I'm going to eat you for lunch, and mid-day snack, and dinner, and maybe even tomorrow morning's breakfast."

"Hey, Mr. Troll, don't look now, but there's a big group of people heading your way. Get ready to get rich!"

Tony turned around to greet his newest customers, and just as he did, Bubba Billy rammed Tony Troll in his tush. Tony, who was a rather portly fellow, (which makes his leaping ability all the more impressive) tumbled over the bridge and into the lake. He soon learned a brand new meaning of the term "dead weight."

With a flip of his head and a taunt, Bubba joined his brothers, gorging himself to the point of no return. The brothers settled there, deciding the grass really was greener on the other side of the bridge.

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This article has been read 882 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Clyde Blakely08/07/08
This is a pretty gruff submission for a Christian writing group. However, (please don't tell anyone) I really enjoyed it. Chuckled all the way to the other side of the bridge even though the reading got heavier as the story progressed.
Nice job and God bless.
Lynda Schultz 08/07/08
Great story. You must be related to that Aesop fellow!
Amy Michelle Wiley 08/07/08
Fun retelling of a familiar story. It would probably be a good idea to credit the original story in an author's note, otherwise good job.
Joanne Sher 08/09/08
What fun! Love that title, and the twist on the old story. Enjoyed this! Hehe
Allison Egley 08/11/08
Addendum to Challenge Entry

Author's Notes:

This is an adaptation of The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Public Domain.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Public Doamin
Shirley McClay 08/11/08
Haha.. fun and lighthearted. Super creative and written well too... Awesome!
Joshua Janoski08/12/08
It was fun reading your take on an old favorite. Thank you for sharing.
william price08/12/08
Now this was just fun old fashioned reading. I got a kick out of this. Thanks! God bless.
Helen Dowd08/17/08
Fun! Fun! Fun! This would make a great children's story, with the moral of the story being: "Don't cross your bridge until you come to it." (And when you do, find a solution!!!) Funny!...Helen