The Official Writing Challenge
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I can see a kid's picture book in this story. Very good.
I love this! My favorite line was: hiding their excitement was like trying to hide sunlight in a jar. I, too, could see a kid's picture book in this story. Well done. Kudos!!
Oh, this is WONDERFUL! So many gems of lines in here (loved Blanch especially). Definitely picture book material, and that last line is perfect.
Your descriptions are superb, and the last line shares a profound truth! This would truly make a lovely children's book! Excellent job! :)
Even children would not miss the "teamwork" message in your beautiful little story.
Yup.. I agree... this needs artwork and a publisher. So awesome. I am going to read it to my kids.
Loren, do you have children or grandchildren to read these stories to? I sure hope so, because these children's stories you write are treasures. I especially liked the name of the hawk in this one. :)

I also appreciated the teamwork being demonstrated by the animals. Wonderful story.
Well written as always!