The Official Writing Challenge
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07/11/05
Wonderful! A great comparison of those who play at Christianity vs. those who mean business, and a good spiritual lesson.
07/11/05
Wow -whatever church held that first "retreat" should be ashamed of themselves! Praise God that there still churches like the one hosting the second retreat! Thank you for sharing that. Nicely written.
07/11/05
Yeah, been there done that have the tee shirt. Wonderful story, too close to home. Your message, however, is right on.
07/11/05
I loved this, especially the part about going to your 20 year reunion and finding out you were the only who left town! If only CHRISTIAN men could see the impact they would make on the whole world if they TRULY walked the walk. Sadly, the world is too much with us. Nice writing.
07/11/05
Excellent points made without preachiness.
07/12/05
Please consider submitting this to a Christian men's magazine. Wonderful piece with much insight and truth.
Great work. Blessings, Lynda
07/12/05
Awesome writing. I agree that this should be printed as a Christian magazine article, not only for men--but for women also.
I liked the description and comparison without the overbearing attitude. Very nice.
littlelight
Ah, the triple crown... catchy title, good delivery and strong message. Lynda and Nina are right. This piece could bless many through publication in a Christian men's resource of some sort. Nice work!
07/13/05
Well written. Believable situations. Not preachy but you still get the message across. I really like the way your character comes full circle and the sandbar/beach comments.
07/13/05
You've set the scene really well. How sad ... yet how true......
Isn't this too true? The discrepancy between "church experiences"? I breathed a huge sigh of relief when the second beach retreat actually spoke to the heart and not just the expectations of masculine desire. :-)
07/14/05
I ditto the comments about the quality of the writing. But let me cast a bit of a shadow here. The writer seems to question the relationship the men of the first church had with God. Then goes on to say how he had improved over the years while the original men had not. Yet none of us can see into the hearts of others nor can we understand the relationship between God and one of His children.... despite what the outside actions might seem. The writing A+ ... but some of the assumptions are a tad bit troubling, maybe a C.
That first retreat is so sad, I'm glad you moved on! I liked the annalogy you made with the Bible passage. Good job!