The Official Writing Challenge
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oh I do like this! So many memories of what the bridge meant to people. Dialogue was great and the characters real. I loved the final sentence! Wonderful job, well done.
08/08/08
I like this too! Very sweet and poignant. I was sad the bridge was gone right along with them.
What a well told, if bitter- sweet story. I like the last line the best. Nice job.
08/09/08
I think the story had a great premise and had great points to make. One thing that might make it more powerful is leaving out the boy's comments or even the boy himself - just focusing on the family's thoughts about the bridge. The word restriction doesn't leave you much room to share the "meat" of your story - cut out anything that's extraneous and narrow down to the strong points of the story. Great mix of description with dialogue - neither overpowers the other and your audience is drawn into the story within the opening lines. Good job!
08/09/08
Your bridge really captured my interest too. That was a nice detail, "no one knows exactly when the bridge had been built, or who had built it." I like how your story unfolded with their memories of the bridge.
Creative story. I, too, like the memories connected to the little bridge. I can just see a little country wedding like that one! There were a few minor grammar errors, but overall well done.
08/11/08
Your story drew me in, and the different characters kept me entertained throughout. As usual, your creativity and wit shine throughout this piece.
As with all your writing, I enjoy the details you do so well. One of my favorite is the little girl using the rag doll to dry her tears, perfect touch.
08/11/08
Good entry, Josh. You captured the importance of the bridge very well. What I like is the rotting lumber at the bottom of a dry ravine... the husband left his rotten ways at the bridge with Jesus.
08/11/08
Nice little story. It had a gentle, comfortable feel to it. Enjoyed it. God bless.
Very nice story with the memories tying it together. You made it quite visual; I could just see the bride and groom meeting in the middle.
08/11/08
I enjoy how one character spins off of the other in this. Farmer Ray's recollection is my favorite part of the whole story. They say that once a man hits, he can't stop. Not true. Jesus--especially those divine encounters--can change a man instantly. I do have one small criticism and I'm probably one of the few who feel this way. But, to me the country tone is a bit trite/overdone. The extra title in the name--Farmer Ray--and the middle name--Libby Sue--seems overly "countrified." I'd rather learn from background clues that he's a farmer and just hear him called Dad or Ray. And Libby by itself is beautiful.
What a great story. You're such a master of details and your writing improves each week! Big time kudos, my friend!!!
08/11/08
Sweet story, Josh. You're a closet romantic, aren't you;)
Well done.
Great job, Josh. You really showed the closeness of this family with your details. Amazing how a simple object can form such poignant memories for each person and you expressed this well. :)
Joshua, this is such an engaging story and I agree with the post above esp. Leah's comment for developing the story to give it deeper roots. It is rich with your special talent and touches that literaly shout out that there is more to this than meets the eye.
Loren.
PS, it took me a moment to realize why you liked the hawk's name...Joshua. Of course I should have known.
God bless - Loren
Josh, you amaze me. I too, liked the description of the little girl using her rag doll to soak up her tears... Your attention to detail is absolutely wonderful. While I understand your using the boy to tie into the memories each has, I too, think you could have done just as well without him. This is probably going to sound really nit-picky, but it's something I learned along ago and try to keep in mind. Try to avoid using that when it's not necessary as in this sentence: Flashbacks came to her of the day that she married Charlie Wilkes. It tightens it up just a bit. :) Overall, you had my attention throughout and I love the ending line. Kudos to you!
08/12/08
Great weaving of details throughout the story, leading up to the climax of the young woman's wedding memories and of the father's conversion. Nicely done...Helen
08/13/08
I enjoyed how you drew me in with emotion, details and atmosphere, and you had a great ending. Great work Josh! Really great work.
Very well written story. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing it.
Great voice in this piece. I really like the ending, too. Well done.
08/14/08
Great descriptions and tone to this. Wonderful stuff, Josh.