The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1080 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/02/08
Interesting... The short lines were a little hard to read.
08/04/08
Just like kids—when you tell us not to do something, we are sure to it. I concentrated. Good stuff.
08/06/08
I do not see this as shallow, but as creative and worth reading. Simplicity is often the most direct way to communicate truth.
Truths can be found in some of the most unassuming ways - this was one of them. Good stuff!
08/06/08
Creative and worth reading--not shallow at all!
Wow! Guess I'm pretty deep after all :)

I found some exellent lines and, yes, meaning, in your poem. Nice job. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Wow! Guess I'm pretty deep after all :)

I found some exellent lines and, yes, meaning, in your poem. Nice job. Thanks for sharing it with us.
08/06/08
There's more depth in this poem than you realize. It's simple, but there's plenty of things in here to consider.

"When did the wall
get built between
what we meant to say
and what was seen?"

So you thought your poem was a bit shallow? Kind of ironic, huh? ;-)
The format was hard to read, but that is what I think makes it awesome. The whole point was to force the reader to concentrate hard on the words, and the format forces hard concentration.

Also, you will find some great thoughts mixed in the long stream of words if you did actually take the time to "concentrate" and read them.

Gerald, you are a very clever man!