The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/31/08
O Wow! I really needed to read this one! Excellent retelling of this time in History! Thank you for the reminder of Who I am to be concentrating on.
Laury
Really good. A great seguay into the challenge topic. Well written.
08/01/08
What a great biblical retelling. I loved the consistent character of Thomas; it actually made me laugh. A wonderful piece.
Wonderful retelling of the storm from Peter's POV. I love the way you have caught the character of Thomas. We so need to be reminded to keep our eyes on Jesus, and concentrate on Him. This was well written and flows smoothly. I love it.
08/05/08
Excellent choice for this week's topic. Like the action and the ending very much. Only 1 tiny bit of red ink- think freshwater lake. But altogether terrific.
Clear, accurate portrayal of this event. Really felt the tension from the rising storm. Strong writing, Josh. :)
The descriptions are so vivid, I felt drawn into the scenes. Excellent retelling of a wonderful event.
I always enjoy getting inside looks at Bible stories with Biblical fiction. One red ink comment--I found the mention of a dark shape wearing white to be a bit incongruent, when Jesus was approaching. Good story, though.
08/05/08
You have portrayed Thomas quite well as being the doubter. Thank you for sharing this incident from Peter's POV. All of us certainly need to concentrate on Jesus in time of storms, or a little wind will topple us down.
08/05/08
Bravo, Josh. This is a really good retelling of Peter's faith walk. If word count would have been less constrictive, you could have shown Judas being concerned that the money bag was going to be lost, John's loving concern about Jesus being all alone out there, James being thankful that it wasn't his brother John that stepped out of the boat... Wow, this could have been a really long story!

But, again, Bravo on a job well done.
Nice retelling! You made all of these come alive in a new way and I loved the italics and how they fit in with the story! Definitely a good example of 'concentrate'. Nicely done! ^_^
This was very realistic, showing the personalities very well of the disciples as they're presented in the Bible. You really brought the story to life. Excellent writing.
08/06/08
This one gave me the shivers, Josh! I could really feel the storm and the faith (and lack of it) of Peter. Great job, my friend!
Indeed! Do not take your eyes off the Lord. Powerful message, masterfully told. Great use of dialogue, scene setting, descripion and use of historical fiction (one of my favorite genres)
Great job with this! Good attention to details. You put me right in the boat with your characters. This is one of my favorite Bible stories too.
Well done! I especially loved your ending paragraph.