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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Concentration (07/24/08)

TITLE: Drip, drip, drip, drip, plop...
By Ruth Neilson


Drip, drip, drip, drip, plop...

The sound was getting to Kara. But she knew better than to let the only noise, outside of her breathing, get to her. She had to remain calm and concentrate on the fact that she was still alive. She had to wonder though who would have trapped her in such a place.

She forced herself to her feet and took several steps to the flat surface she had found days ago. She began to exercise. She had to do something to keep her mind focused on something other than being trapped. Kara knew that she had to keep sane.

Drip, drip, drip, drip, plop...

She gritted her teeth, determined to ignore the nerve-grating sound. She carefully padded over to the ledge that hovered over the water. She had to find food. Had to stay alert some how. Kara hiccupped as she knelt and peered into the cool, blue waters. There was nothing—had been nothing for the past few days. She breathed a prayer of thanksgiving that at least the water was fresh.

The eerie feeling of being watched only grew with each passing day. It was like someone (or thing) was waiting for her to make one mistake that would leave her open for her captor's whims.

Drip, drip, drip, drip, plop...

She had to concentrate on something...anything. Kara knew that her grasp on her sanity was slowly slipping.


"My friends are looking for me," she announced to her unseen captor. "They know that I went diving."

Silence greeted her. Even the dripping seemed to stop and in that moment, Kara's heart sank. There was nothing she could do.

Concentrate...focus on... Kara's mind froze; it hit her. She had nothing to concentrate on; the realization slowly sunk into her heart. She had no real friends that who realize that she was gone, let alone any family. She was for the first time in her life, helpless.

Finally, there was a low chuckle from a dark corner of the cave as her panic began to peak.

"Welcome to your new home, my pet." A voice rumbled and Kara shuddered as she stumbled backwards, and then fell. "It would serve you well to concentrate on learning the rules before challenging me..."

"What rules?" Kara whispered, frantically trying to propel her body backwards, closer to the water.

Drip, drip, drip, drip, plop...

The voice didn't answer, and Kara bit her lip. She finally had something to concentrate on—how to get away while surviving for another day.

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This article has been read 627 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 07/31/08
NOOOO !!! You can't leave us there! What happened to Kara?
What a setting..and building of tension, right up to the climax!
Deborah Engle 08/02/08
Lynda Schultz 08/04/08
No fair! What happened? Where's the beginning? Give us the end! (All that to say that this is good—otherwise we wouldn't be asking!)
Helen Dowd08/04/08
Finish the story! PLEASE! How cruel to leave me in suspense!...Oh, this is a great story on concentration. I just wish that you could have had a few more words to conclude the story...Very well done...You should be writing suspense novels (not that I read that type much)...Helen
Lyn Churchyard08/05/08
So, you would try and subject us to Chinese water torture! Well, it won't work... we are much too strong... please, please, please tell us what happened next!! Pretty please :(
Karen Wilber08/05/08
There's no way this was 750 words--no fair leaving us hanging. Aaaargh! (Excellent suspense BTW. This is creepy.)
Edmond Ng 08/06/08
Intriguing. You have captured your readers' attention with them asking for more. Without anything to focus on, it is no wonder Kara feels helpless, but then again, the fact she breathed a prayer of thanksgiving shows she can still keep her sanity intact, only because she has God. A well written story awaiting further development and closure.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/06/08
Well written--suspenseful...and where's the rest? I think it's against the law to leave us hanging!