The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/01/08
This is a sweet story with a great little MC. Charming.
08/02/08
Perfectly sweet little story!
08/03/08
We don't want to misunderstand this early in life. Glad the adults were able to help. Good job.
This is adorable. Creative take on the topic, too. Kudos.
08/04/08
This is a sad story. But I am sure anyone who has small children, just starting school has been, or will be facing a similar problem...Children can be cruel, even though they may not intend to be. I have no children (thus no grandchildren) but I have had care of children in the past and I know how hard it is when one child is mocked or teased. I went through that problem. It is hard to deal with. But this parent and teacher handled it great...You asked for help. You did well on this. There is only one thing, and that is, in one instance you didn't join the speaker up with the introduction. (He went home crying each day, "--and then what the little boy said...) I think that may have been an oversight on your part....I liked the story...Helen
08/05/08
Great job. I saw this as a unique approach to the topic, and very creative,(as well as hertwarming). Life can be tough, even for those we think have no worries.
08/06/08
(smile) Kids get the funniest ideas, don't they?
I wondered why you spelled "invisible"...."invizabell." If you wanted it to be in a childlike form, maybe you could him have a lisp..."invithible"
Maybe you could have done it from his point of view.

Ha, Ha...didn't mean to make that pun!
This was a creative way to show "concentration." You brought little Gary to life, and I just wanted to hug him.
I liked your story and your approach to the subject. My only red ink would be that I'd like to see more of the Mom's dialogue included with Gary's, to make her more "real". Other than that, great job...you made Gary a very likeable child.
You captured the thought patterns of a child perfectly with this. It was a very fun read! Thank you for sharing.