The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a phone call definitely worth waiting for. I was so glad the son was found.
What a great story! It's a double-header with some good poetry tossed in for free! I held my breath, so afraid something might have happened to the son that is a father's worst nightmare. But it turned out well and so did your entry. Very well done indeed! Kudos!
Very nice.I love the inclusion of some poetry in this.Also for anyone with teenagers this story is familiar!Nice policeman....
Well written and entertaining piece, thanks. Elizabeth.
Wonderful writing showing the dad's love and concern. I couldn't wait to read the next paragraph to see if something terrible had happened to the son. I also enjoyed the poems within the story, a special touch. Excellent entry!
07/29/08
A wonderfully strong story. A few unclear pronoun references, but overall well written. I like the poetry "breaks" in the story, too.
07/30/08
Very nicely done! What a phone call it was :)
07/30/08
Heehee, I loved the touch of poetry in here and the ending. I'm glad that he wasn't really in serious trouble, but just wanted to call home. Nice job! ^_^
07/31/08
I too love the mixture of prose and poetry. Very nicely done!
The poetry in this is what really makes this piece shine. Very good! I appreciate you sharing this with all of us.
08/14/09
I was afraid of a bad ending , with tragedy being the meeage on te phone...so glad the boy called home...and I , too, loved the mix of prose and poetry.
Lisa
08/14/09
My fingers stuttered...so glad tragedy was not the message on the phone...
Lisa
08/26/09
Grade "A" poetry for starters! The story itself was touching, but the poetry is what takes the cake on this one. From what I've read in your profile - it reads like it could be Non-Fiction. Nicely done! I found one tiny "oops" at the end. Robbie suddenly became Bobby. Honesty is the best policy...(*.*)
08/26/09
Thanks Marilyn, for your kind comment. As for "Robbie" becoming "Bobby", I can see your point. But actually, I meant it to be "Bobby", trying to portray the picture of his change of heart and softening towards his dad. It's hard to explain too much in a challenge article, due to word restriction. But I do see your point. And thanks...Helen