The Official Writing Challenge
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07/25/08
This was a phone call definitely worth waiting for. I was so glad the son was found.
07/26/08
What a great story! It's a double-header with some good poetry tossed in for free! I held my breath, so afraid something might have happened to the son that is a father's worst nightmare. But it turned out well and so did your entry. Very well done indeed! Kudos!
07/26/08
Very nice.I love the inclusion of some poetry in this.Also for anyone with teenagers this story is familiar!Nice policeman....
Well written and entertaining piece, thanks. Elizabeth.
07/28/08
Wonderful writing showing the dad's love and concern. I couldn't wait to read the next paragraph to see if something terrible had happened to the son. I also enjoyed the poems within the story, a special touch. Excellent entry!
07/29/08
A wonderfully strong story. A few unclear pronoun references, but overall well written. I like the poetry "breaks" in the story, too.
07/30/08
Very nicely done! What a phone call it was :)
07/30/08
Heehee, I loved the touch of poetry in here and the ending. I'm glad that he wasn't really in serious trouble, but just wanted to call home. Nice job! ^_^
07/31/08
I too love the mixture of prose and poetry. Very nicely done!
07/31/08
The poetry in this is what really makes this piece shine. Very good! I appreciate you sharing this with all of us.
08/14/09
I was afraid of a bad ending , with tragedy being the meeage on te phone...so glad the boy called home...and I , too, loved the mix of prose and poetry.
Lisa
08/14/09
My fingers stuttered...so glad tragedy was not the message on the phone...
Lisa
08/26/09
Grade "A" poetry for starters! The story itself was touching, but the poetry is what takes the cake on this one. From what I've read in your profile - it reads like it could be Non-Fiction. Nicely done! I found one tiny "oops" at the end. Robbie suddenly became Bobby. Honesty is the best policy...(*.*)
08/26/09
Thanks Marilyn, for your kind comment. As for "Robbie" becoming "Bobby", I can see your point. But actually, I meant it to be "Bobby", trying to portray the picture of his change of heart and softening towards his dad. It's hard to explain too much in a challenge article, due to word restriction. But I do see your point. And thanks...Helen