Elaina checked her messages for the third time in two hours. The digital display flashed a hateful zero at her and she sighed, running a hand impatiently through her dark red hair. She bit her lip and sat down with her Bible.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” Elaina read and sighed again. “You know my desire Lord. I believe it came from you…David isn’t even my type!” She giggled softly, reflecting on the type of man who usually attracted her. “You know I like blond, blue-eyed, beach boys. Where did this passion for a dark-haired, dark eyed Italian come from, if not from you? He’s not even tall!” Elaina laughed again, reflecting that David’s not being tall didn’t matter much since he was a good bit taller than she was. Not that it was saying much, Elaina was a pixy.
Three weeks had passed since the handsome new youth pastor asked for her number. Elaina was thrilled. She had been finding him increasingly attractive as she spent time with him at Bible studies, prayer meetings and church activities. His zeal for God and the youth he served was inspiring.
Why hasn’t he called? Elaina wondered. She was sure she hadn’t offended him and that he knew she welcomed his attention. He still seemed interested in her, smiling at her frequently and watching her when he thought she wasn’t looking. He had made no further mention of calling, but he was warm and friendly.
Elaina closed her eyes and laid her head back against the couch, pulling her legs underneath her, Indian style. Her previous relationships had been short-lived and shallow, and she had never felt the kind of fiery longing she felt for David for any of the boys or men she’d dated before. His ministry thrilled her. She loved the way he held nothing back when he preached, sharing his mistakes and failings freely, while honoring God for healing, changing and saving him. And when he prayed…Elaina felt a rush of heat flood her body at the thought.
Just four months earlier Elaina had served as maid of honor at her college roommate’s wedding. God had blessed Selene. Her husband Paul was a wonderful Christian man and a handsome doctor. He was devoted to Selene and her family, generously settling Selene’s invalid mother in a home near them, and caring for her as tenderly as he did his own parents.
Elaina marveled at him and at her friend’s joy. She wanted to be loved that way. Envy wrapped it’s tendrils around her heart as she watched them exchange their vows. She had cried with joy for her friend, and, she was forced to recollect, with disgusting self-pity.
She shook her head in sorrow. “God forgive me. I’m so happy for Selene. She deserves the joy she’s found. She’s been a true friend to me; help me to be the same for her.”
Maybe her problem was that she was getting older and she was afraid she would never be married. “Is that all it is, Lord?” she prayed. “I don’t want to date David or marry him out of fear that I’ll never have another chance or because I think that’s what I should be doing.” She felt tears prickle at her eyelids as her heart constricted. She really didn’t believe that was all it was.
“I want your best, Lord. I want to be all yours.”
As she uttered the words, Elaina felt a flash of warmth surge within her. “I love you so much, Lord. I do want to be married and have children, but only if that is what you want for me. I love you more than anyone or anything else.”
It was a whisper, but it was as hot as a flame. “You are mine.”
Elaina’s eyes flew open. “Yes, Lord. I am Yours. You are more than enough for me.” She giggled and half-sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’ve let my desire to be married and my infatuation with David distract me. I’ll stop waiting by the phone and wait on You.”
Feeling a peace she hadn’t felt since the day she met David, Elaina got up and began to clean her apartment. She put on a worship CD and sang along as she worked.
She was engrossed in lesson planning for the coming school week when the phone rang an hour later.
“Elaina? It’s David…”
Psalm 37:4, Isaiah 43:1
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