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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Telephone (07/17/08)

TITLE: The Stalker
By Dianne Janak
07/20/08


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The eyes of a stranger watched, while hidden behind window blinds on the third floor.

Through his binoculars he zeroed in on my daughter, a nurse in San Diego, who was sun bathing at the pool in her apartmentís courtyard.

Three hundred miles away, I was oblivious to the danger that awaited her. When the phone rang, I was ironing and didnít pick up.

Answering machine : ďMom, the police are here. A man followed me down the hall as I came back to my room after sun bathing. He had NO clothes on ! My key jammed, but I made it just in time. He was wanting to break in. Iím so scared. They need a description and a report. Can you come down?Ē

Panic call to husband : ďHoney, we have an emergency. Sissy is in trouble. There was a naked man in her hallway stalking her. Iím going to go stay with her a while. Is there any way you can miss your business trip and go with me? Iím freaking out here. Ē

Comfort call to daughter : ďSissy , Iím on my way. Dad may come later. Iím going to stay with you until we know he is gone. Iím bringing pepper spray. Call the apartment manager and tell him to get the information out to everyone else. Ask him for an escort back to your room each night after work. You canít walk alone in the dark until you know this guy is gone.

Itís ok. Our church prayer warriors are on it. God will cover you with His protection.Ē

Voice mail on cell : ďMom, hurry up. This is serious. Now heís following me. He drives a white truck, and as I pulled out of the parking lot today, I saw him. He was waiting for me. I donít know what to do. Please hurry.Ē

Call waiting on phone: ď Sissy, I was talking to a private dectective. They can set up some surveillance, but I want to talk to some other people, and see if there is anything else we can do. There is no guarantee they can get him, if we hire someone, but we know God is in control .

Iíll be there in two hours. Donít leave your apartment and call work Ö tell them you wonít be coming in for a couple of days. The detective says we need to get write down his license plates. Ē

Urgent call to police: ď My daughter reported a stalking incident yesterday. I came down here to help protect her. Is there anything I can do? She says he is following her. Ö.. You canít do anything until we get his license??

He keeps his tailgate down so she canít see the license plate. He apparently has no front plates. Isnít there anything you can do?Ē

***
Five days later:

Relieved call to husband : ďI donít think you need to come, honey. Itís been quiet since I have been here. I think he has moved on, and Iíll probably come home tomorrow. This has been a horrible ordeal, but I feel confident itís over and she is safe. Thanks for praying. We felt the peace.Ē

Frantic call from Sissy: ďMom, as soon as you left, he knew it. He must have been watching. He started following me again, but this time I just got mad and did a u-turn, coming up behind him. I tail gated him for a while, but still couldnít see his plates. I had to do something. Iím tired of this idiot trying to ruin my life.Ē

Informative call from police chief: ďYour daughter told me what she did. I would never advise it to anyone, as women shouldnít play around with these people. I will tell you this though. These men are cowards. This is more about fear than sex. Since she took the reins and chased him, I would safely bet he leaves her alone.Ē

***
Three months later:

Ecstatic call from Sissy: ď Mom, the police were just here. My stalker found another victim. This time they caught him, and I picked him out of a lineup with pictures. He was a sex offender on parole. Heíll be in prison for a long time for attempted rape. God protected me, Mom. ď

Praise call to church: ď The stalker is behind bars! Hallelujah!Ē


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This article has been read 551 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/24/08
Your story told through telephone calls was plotted with just the right amount of suspense. I was happy to have the stalker caught.
Linda Grigg07/24/08
Great idea, to tell the story via telephone messages. Kept me in suspense till the end. Glad it ended the way it did!
Amanda D'costa07/26/08
This article caught my attention right from the beginning. Good work.
Lynda Lee Schab 07/30/08
Oh, wow! I was on the edge of my seat - especially since you've said it's true! What a terrifying time for your daughter (and you!) So glad everything turned out ok. Thanks for sharing.
Betty Castleberry07/30/08
Good work with the suspense. As a mom, I can relate to this, too. Nicely done.
Lauryn Abbott07/30/08
Wow, I'm so glad for the protection from the Lord for your daughter! This was a great way to portray the story. Good job!
Shirley McClay 07/30/08
Very well done and such a scary story. I cant even imagine living it. SO glad God protected your daughter.
Mariane Holbrook07/30/08
I actually had to peek to make sure it turned out ok. I was glued to the story that much! Very well done indeed!
Pamela Kliewer07/30/08
Wow... how scary! I'm glad everything turned out fine and that your daughter was protected! One little nitpick: The detective says we need to get write down his license plates. You have an extra word... This was well written.
Sara Harricharan 07/30/08
Oooh, this gave me shivers. So incredibly real and scary and all at the same time. I was really, really hoping it would have a good happy ending. Wow. You really nailed it here. My only red ink was a typo in the line with the detective police that was asking them to write it down, I think you have an extra word or something there, otherwise, I thought it was pretty good-it flowed well and had a good bit of suspense and emotion. ^_^
Helen Dowd 07/30/08
Great use of the topic, Telephone, to get your story across...Good advice too. I am so glad the story turned out okay in the long run...Helen
Sharlyn Guthrie07/30/08
How frightening! You used a clever format to tell your story. Thanks for sharing a no-doubt traumatic tale.
Joshua Janoski07/30/08
I like how you formatted this piece with the bolded labels for each type of phone call. What a scary situation to be placed in! I'm so glad that God protected your daughter. Hallelujah is right! :)
Benjamin Graber07/31/08
I'm so glad that God was protecting your daughter! This would be really scary to go through...
David Butler 07/31/08
Wow! Real adrenaline stuff here, especially knowing it really happened. I can't imagine how a Mum would feel, and it takes a lotta guts to relive the horrors again to get it off your chest. Go girl!
The format was very effective too.