The Official Writing Challenge
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I was so frustrated for Jessie, who missed all those wonderful opportunities that could have been his, if only he'd kept in touch with his phone messages. Connecting him to an inventor who almost got the patent before Bell made the story seem more realistic.
An interesting angle. I'd be interested in seeing a longer version of the story, where the parallel lives of the inventor and his descendant would have more 'room'to play out. Could make a good screenplay.
I appreciate the previous comments very much. I am sure they know more about writing than I do. What I received from the story is that this young man (and all young people and some older people) was zeroed in on what he wanted only and when it did not happen as he wished he blamed the telephone, an inanimate object to take out his frustration on. Some adults do the same thing, kicking their tires, slamming doors, etc. The story and progression was, in my opinion, very good, I just saw it from a different angle.
This is a wonderful story:

Summing it all up:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well".

Good Job !!!