The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1324 times
Member Comments
Perfection! I really like this. Very powerful!
I loved the story itself - very well thought out. My nitpickiness was drawn to a couple of typos and tense changes("..she sighs, as she headed out the door." - should read "sighed") and, "Another time, Katie sighs deeply." - again, should be "sighed", since the rest of the story was past tense)
But the story was wonderfully done and I enjoyed it very much.
Blessings, Lynda
Great title, clever out of the box entry,and good flow. I didn't understand this “Your case is over her, Dad unless you meant to write 'here' instead of 'her'.
Very moving. Good dialogue and nice unveiling of the reason for the father's situattion.
What a powerful story - with a much needed glimmer of hope at the end.
Great story, watch the tense shifts.
A really well told story. Very original. Get someone to do a final edit for you before you post!
I like the way you captured each moment.How comforting to know our Father is always there to help us.Thanks for sharing.
Great ending! Good job!
So sad...... Apart from the story itself, you really brought out the reversal of roles that happens over time, and even more so when there has been a tragedy like this. The picture of 'The Big Guy' feet dancing with his little princess and teaching her of God, and now her finding her father and teaching him to pray is precious indeed.
What a terrific job you did with the emotion in this story. Great writing; bittersweet story.