Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Memory (07/10/08)

TITLE: Breakdown on the "A" Line
By Gerald Shuler
07/14/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The mood created by the romantic moonlit park was a God-sent answer to Josh’s prayer. Stars reflected from Julie’s eyes, leaving Josh literally star struck from her beauty. Tonight, he knew, would be perfection personified.

“Josh, you seem to be a million miles away.” Julie touched his hand softly, sending chills up and down his arm. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m okay. I just had something I wanted to ask you but…” He lowered his head, embarrassed at what he was about to say. “You are so beautiful… I… I can’t remember what I was going to ask.”

***

Red lights flashed urgently and sirens blared out the warning that could not be ignored.

“Oh, no… how could there be a memory breakdown now?” The supervisor of ‘A’ line quickly checked his panel of gauges. “Okay boys, the boss just said he can’t remember what he was going to ask. All gauges read normal. I see no reason for a memory loss… all memories seem to be flowing without interruption. What’s gone wrong with his memory? I need some answers… STAT.”


***

“You can’t remember?” Julie smiled politely. “It must not have been that important if you can’t remember.”

“Oh, I’m sure it was important. It was about you.”

***

“Come on, boys. This ain’t lunch break. What made him forget? He doesn’t drink alcohol or take drugs so there are no dead memory cells blocking the line. I’m stuck, boys. Get me some info about what he’s trying to remember. We’ve got to get this line moving again… NOW.

***

Josh shyly put his arm around Julie’s shoulders. He could smell the mingling scent of hair shampoo and delicate perfume. He knew he would remember that aroma for the rest of his life.

***

“Okay, that’s not good. We have a case of Selective Memory Seclusion. Someone check with Health & Vitality to see if the memory loss could be some developing health problem. Josh has relatives with Alzheimer’s Disease. I’m grabbing straws, boys. Even Alzheimer’s should show something on my gauges. These gauges still read like there is nothing wrong. We’re running out of time, boys. The boss needs to ask the question before the mood passes. Flood the corridor with recent memories.”

***

Josh thumped the side of his head lightly.

“I just remembered what I was going to ask you, Julie.” He slid off the park bench and slipped his hand under the seat. “I hid this here earlier. Maybe you can help me decide what to do with it.”

***

“Check the memory files. What did he hide earlier? We may be making some progress with his memory. At least he says he remembers… still no change in the gauges so I have no way of knowing for sure what’s going on.”

***

The size and shape of the box Josh pulled from under the park bench was unmistakable. Julie’s heart danced with anticipation.

***

“We just got word back from Health and Vitality. All systems are in top running condition. Boys, I’m beginning to think the boss is just putting on an act. Back off the emergency measures and let’s see what happens.”

***

The small box opened slowly and the moonlight caught every magnificent sparkle of the diamond set in a gold ring.

“Julie, I love you. I will always love you. Would you accept this ring and be my wife?”

***

“All gauges normal. Emergency memory measures are shut down. I think the boss just made us look like idiots. He hadn’t forgotten at all. Take a break, boys. You deserve it.”

***

A joyful tear made its way down Julie’s cheek. He took her left hand and slid the ring on her finger, thankful that it fit perfectly.

“Yes, Josh. A million times, yes.” She pulled him up from his kneeling position and threw her arms around him. “I will marry you but, Josh, promise me you will work on your memory. How could you have forgotten what you were going to ask?”

“You were so beautiful in the moonlight I couldn’t think of anything else. All I know for sure is that I love you with all my heart, Mary.”

***

“Get back in here, boys. STAT. The boss just called Julie by the wrong name. These gauges are really going wild this time. I’ve got a feeling we’re in for a really rough night. And he was doing so good. Oh, well, this one is definitely going to qualify as another unforgettable memory.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 797 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 07/17/08
Ouch! Love the surprise ending. Very well done.
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/17/08
Wonderful story. I love the humor.
Amy Michelle Wiley 07/17/08
Too funny. :-p
Venice Kichura07/19/08
What a clever ending! A masterful piece of creativity!
Joanne Sher 07/19/08
Clever, fun, and TOO creative! Ouch is right!
Carole Robishaw 07/21/08
Uh Oh, I think we're in trouble here.

I want to know where this is going next! I sure hope Mary isn't a former girlfriend!

Good story.
Karen Wilber 07/21/08
Loved it! This is just the kind of crazy fun read I needed this afternoon. LOL. I wish you could have heard me laugh at the end--boy is he in trouble.
Mariane Holbrook07/23/08
Oh my goodness, this is funny. What a great read. You must have had a ball writing it! Kudos!
Sara Harricharan 07/23/08
Oh OUCH! I really hope that Julie missed that "Mary" part at the end...whoops! I loved the interaction between this A line and the head guy, so funny to read! ^_^
Joshua Janoski07/23/08
LOL. Yep, a definite lady's man that Josh is. You picked a good name for your MC. The forgetfulness made me almost think that you were actually writing about me, except that I don't have good luck with women, so the chances of me proposing to Mary...I mean Julie is unlikely. :)

Thank you for sharing this fun entry with all of us.
Yvonne Blake 07/24/08
yes... very much like mine. I like the back and forth method. Well done.